Sunday, February 23, 2014

Winter, Spring, Summer, or Fall, All You Have to Do is Call . . .

Top: Lauren Conrad, Kohl's
Pants: Target
Shoes: Betseyville, J. C. Penney's
Bag: Marshalls
Jacket: Bisou Bisou, J. C. Penney's
Belt: Wet Seal

Dress: Lauren Conrad, Kohl's
Shoes: Payless
Bag: Kohl's
Scarf: A. C. Moore

Top: Macy's
Cardigan: Kohl's
Skirt: L'Amour by Nanette Lepore, J. C. Penney's
Shoes: J. C. Penney's
Bag: Marshalls
Scarf: J. C. Penney's

. . . your stylist.  I was grocery shopping recently when the cashier asked me if I dressed by the seasons.  Confused, I asked what she meant, and she said, "You know.  Are you a Winter?"  "Oh," I said, as we both made a grab for the boxes of cookies and crackers being dumped by the conveyor belt. "No.  I don't even know what I am."  The cashier went on to say that she used to think she was a Winter until her friend declared her an Autumn.  "I don't think you should worry about it," I said.  "Just wear what you want."  And I meant it.  

So then again, maybe don't call your stylist.  Maybe fire her and use part of the money to download the soothing sounds of Mr. James Taylor instead.  I'm sure he'd appreciate that.              

Monday, February 17, 2014

Red Letter (Valentine's) Day

Cardigan: Target
Camisole: J. C. Penney's
Skirt: Necessary Objects, Annie Sez
Shoes: Betseyville, Macy's
Bag: Etsy, Uniquely Different
Belt: B Fabulous
Tights: J. C. Penney's

Dress: Olsenboye, J. C. Penney's
Shoes: Madden Girl, Macy's
Bag: Fred Flare
Coat: She Said, J. C. Penney's
Scarf: Express

Sweatshirt: Jenni, Macy's
Jeans: J. C. Penney's
Shoes: Betseyville, J. C. Penney's
Bag: Betsey Johnson, Ross
Scarf: Wet Seal

I realize that it's President's Day.  But there isn't much about George and Abe that screams fun or funny. Unless, of course, you count their patriotic profiles, which may look kind of amusing as the felt focal point of a star-spangled necklace.  Hang on a minute . . .

But no.  Too late.  This post is all about the extravagance that governs (hey, vamoose, legislative language) the glamour of hearts and flowers fashion.  To me, Cupid's calendar lays claim to the height of holiday style.  Sure, Christmas trees, Easter bunnies, and jack o' lanterns get all the press.  But for that unbeatable combination of romance and kitsch, there's no trumping February fourteenth.  Its comely clash of red and pink, punched up by conversation hearts' powerhouse pastels, are the ideal colors for cute candy boxes and crush-worthy dresses.  Not that your plans need be fancy to be festive.  For those who feel more pressure than passion on this lovey-doviest of days, sometimes there's no sweeter celebration than sitting on the sofa with your special someone, sucking down a box of Russell Stover's soft-centered finest.  What's more, Valentine's Day treats are now deeply discounted, which means that it's the perfect time to snag a fresh frilly box for my - er, your - collection . . . and enjoy the snuggle and scarf routine all over again.                

Monday, February 10, 2014

Supper Served Up Soft (and Also, Some Rainbows)

Dress: J. C. Penney's
Shrug: The Limited, Marshalls
Shoes: Alloy
Bag: DSW
Belt: Kohl's

Top: Bisou, Bisou, J. C. Penney's
Skirt: Bar III, Macy's
Shoes: Ami Clubwear
Bag: Marshalls

 Sedate Sparkler Necklace

Top: Candie's, Kohl's
Skirt: Marilyn Monroe, Macy's
Shoes: Betseyville
Bag: Candie's, Kohl's
Belt: Izod, gifted

Top: Victoria's Secret
Skirt: Modcloth
Shoes: Betseyville, Macy's
Bag: Kenneth Cole Reaction, gifted
Jacket: Kohl's

Dress: Macy's
Shoes: J. C. Penney's
Bag: Marshalls
Wallet: Betsey Johnson, gifted
Scarf: Boscov's

Sad is the day when all of your meat and potatoes merch disappears from your web site.  Oh, sure.  It's nice to know that someone out there is rocking your flavorful felt rendition of a 1950s-style square meal around her neck or in her side part.  But it's also a bummer to not be able to log on to your humble corner of Etsy and see said supper waiting to serve as some clotheshorse's main course.  So, for all those kooky carnivores out there (but mostly, as I said, for me), I crafted more crazy collars.  As the good people at Hillshire Farms would've said during their last ad campaign, "Go meat!"

Naturally, I made a daintier, bead-bedecked version of my erstwhile Fabulous Felt Steak Dinner Necklace. But I also made the Fabulous Felt Ham it Up Necklace.  I'm not ashamed to admit that this portrait of pork was inspired by none other than my healing hand wound.  Round and pink, it had a reddish, slightly off-center circle that made me think of a cartoon Christmas ham.  If that's not an example of art emerging from adversity, then I don't know what is.