One Climb at a Time: Lisa Turtle Power

Top to bottom: Chase & Chloe, Zulily; Worthington, JCPenney; Chase & Chloe, Zulily

It's not unusual for shoes to be the first thing you see here at The Tote Trove.  But this time, they're not just about style -- they're about making strides -- while in style.  Because March is Women's History Month, and March 8 is International Women's Day.  Which, I'm aware, was yesterday (insert joke about women always being late.  What, no girl-on-girl crime, hashtag Mean Girls, when promoting gender equality?  Okay, Tina Fey, duly noted.)  A few years ago, Stephen Colbert did a bit on The Late Show about this special day, which I remember in a degree of detail because I logged it in my "Stuff to Write about Someday" Word file (most of which is flagged "do not publish until in witness protection").  Colbert was talking about a new Barbie-esque doll that was something worthy but boring, like an ambassador or a crossing guard who moonlights as an accountant.  And he was like, isn't it enough that little girls have to deal with all the issues that come with being female?  Why, in the name of proving themselves, do they have to play with lame toys too?  No one makes boys do that.  They get to play with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!  

This really resonated with me.  Because wouldn't the truly feminist move be to encourage girls to play with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles too?  Or the frilliest, glitziest Barbie?  Or whatever they want, not for the optics, but for the fun of it?  

So.  In celebration of all things shamelessly -- no, proudly -- frivolously feminine, here's a simply red (cue "Lady in Red") grouping of some of my more photogenic cosmetics.  

Body butter: The Body Shop, Zulily; Elizabeth Arden Red Door, Marshalls; Clinique lipstick: Boscov's; Mulan compact, Zulily

Note the Mulan compact, which is truly badass in terms of girls slaying it, whether on the battlefield or in the bathroom.  

Also, there's a turtle tee!  

Tee shirt, Macy's

Girls, hands off Leonardo; he's mine!  (Sorry, Tina.  I backslid into competitive mean girl mode there.)  

It isn't lost on me that the color scheme of the makeup and the tee is Red Hat Society-approved red and purple.  Because nothing says female empowerment like a posse of post-menopausal, chapeau-domed women commandeering an Applebee's.

Unless it's Lisa Turtle killing it in a  -- what else? -- red hat!

I knew I'd use those Saved by the Bell cards again.

That said, Lisa Turtle Power, although a sick pun if I do say so myself, is too close for comfort to Lisa Turtle Powers.  As in Screech Powers (Dustin Diamond, RIP).  I blame Mattel for starting it all by forcing Lisa to share a card with Screech.  It's not very Women's History Month of them, especially as the birthplace of Barbie.  I smell another comic Colbert exposé.  

Until then, sorry, Lisa.  

And, as always, Tina Fey.

Hood Seasons: The More You Snow, the More You Grow

Ice Princess Necklace

Sweater: Merona, Target
Shoes: 2 Lips Too, JCPenney

I've spent more than my fair share of posts complaining about Old Man Winter.  The cold, the dark, the clunky boots, and, of course, the nasty driving conditions.  But today is the first day of spring, which means that it's officially over.  Also that it's safe to reflect on that one day when my Honda and I braved the tundra.

It wasn't as if the storm had come on suddenly, like a squall slicing a tranquil day.  No, I saw the flakes begin to fall while still at work around lunchtime.  Usually, the first flurry is enough to make me hightail it home.  But this time I stayed put.  For one thing, the news said that it wouldn't stick.  For another, I was tired of being afraid of the weather.

In other words, I got cocky.

When I left four hours later, the parking lot was an icy blanket.  With the help of a kind coworker, I cleaned off my car and crawled away, gripping the steering wheel like a life raft.  It was pretty grim.  My heart was pounding, and people were passing me left and right.  Then I heard Incubus's "Drive" on the radio.  You know.  That song about overcoming fear, and quite possibly (at least in this case), a fear of driving:

"Sometimes
I feel the fear of
Uncertainty stinging clear

And I
Can't help but ask myself how much I'll let the fear
Take the wheel and steer
It's driven me before and seems to have a vague

Haunting mass appeal
But lately I'm beginning to find that I
Should be the one behind the wheel"

I took it as a sign.  If Brandon Boyd could choose water over wine, then I could get myself home.  Who knew how many other people felt this way, how many other "special snowflakes" were, at that very moment, white-knuckling it through the elements?  It gave me hope, and it gave me courage, and when I finally inched into my driveway, I felt like I'd slayed a dragon.

A few days later it snowed again, although this time not nearly as much.  The husband built a snowman and snapped this pic of me with it, albeit wearing Betsey Johnson earmuffs instead of a hood.

If nothing else, then it's photographic evidence that snow can be fun.  And that I can't resist kooky headgear.

Then last night, I chased off my inner Abominable Snowman once and for all by making this Ice Princess Necklace (above).  It's more delicate than my usual stuff, but the glittery sky blue and white remind me that winter isn't just treacherous, but beautiful.  Kind of like admiring an exquisite ice sculpture instead of imagining some kid's tongue stuck to it.  Or appreciating the elegance of an icicle without thinking that it's going to impale Marvin the Mailman.  Also, it sort of screams Frozen.  Which is about as dark as a vanilla milkshake.

So I learned something from Old Man Winter.  Now class is in session with Senorita Spring.  (Which I know isn't a thing.  But it should be.)

Watch out, allergies, mosquitoes, and sunburn.  Mulan is coming for you.