Hair Wear Flair: Knots Banding

Left to right: Ella & Elly, Zulily; So, Kohl's; Lady Arya, Zulily

If you were around in the '80s, then you know all about the super squad quad of nighttime soaps that included Dynasty, Falcon Crest, Dallas, and Knots Landing.  My parents were fans of all four, so their theme songs, along with the ones for Sesame Street and Mister Rogers, are firmly lodged in my mind.  To me, that music always meant drama, glamour, and, above all else, big shoulder pads and much bigger hair.  And what better way to tamp down or amp up a bitchin' bouffant than with a happenin' headband?

Ah, headbands, those timeless comrades of the cranium.  In the early '90s, I remember soft headwraps accented with knots as being a thing.  I had one in mustard that anchored my teased bangs during many a mall crawl and math class.  So when knot-topped hard headbands recently came into style, I thought, hey, I know you.  More sculptural than their pliable predecessors, these twisty finishing touches add the kind of oomph that can come from only a tiny yet towering turban.  I quickly acquired a trio (above), two striped and one rainbow metallic.  Wearing them makes me feel happy, nostalgic and trendsetting all at once.  

So the next time I'm watching The Undoing or A Million Little Things, I'll reminisce about how my love of stories and accessories started.

To paraphrase one of my favorite songs from the '80s:

"Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth?  Ooh, Heaven is a place on earth."

You know.  If heaven were a hair doodad that didn't feel like it was squeezing your skull.  

Farm Charm Favorites: E-I-E-I-Whoa

Happy Horses Charm Necklace

Dress: Modcloth

Shoes: B.A.I.T., Zulily

Bag: Sugar Thrillz, Dolls Kill

Sunglasses: Mudd, Kohl's

Belt: Candie's, Kohl's

Bangles: B Fabulous

Crazy Critters Charm Necklace

Tank: Express, Marshalls

Jeans: Arizona Jeans, JCPenney

Flip flops: Sea Star, Brigantine

Bag: Betsey Johnson, Boscov's

Sunglasses: The Tote Trove

Yellow bangles: B Fabulous

Green stretch bracelet: Cloud Nine, Ocean City

Other bracelets: So, Kohl's

Fabulous Felt Cheese Please Barrette

It's not every farm that can lay claim to seahorses, stegosauruses, and unicorns.  But then, The Tote Trove isn't any old farm.  It's a fantasy land rife with sweet, playful produce.  And these days it's producing charms.  With my supply of the Flash variety finally exhausted, I'm on to these equally adorable (albeit less nostalgic) fuzzy animal danglers, the likes of which you may remember from previous posts.

That said, one thing that you will find on most farms is cheese.  Which everyone loves.  Except maybe the lactose intolerant.  And the people who came up with "cheesy," "the Stinky Cheese Man," "cutting the cheese," and, of course, that old favorite, "the cheese stands alone."

I think I first became fascinated by cheese (or, as I sometimes like to call it, "the pasteurized one,") while watching Mister Rogers' Neighborhood.  It was one of those let's-learn-something segments where they take you out of Mr. Rogers's house and the Land of Make Believe to a removed locale where people in bowl cuts and corduroys are doing something educational. This time they were making cheese in huge tubs, separating the chunky curds from the milky way, all to the sound of a good old disembodied voice-over.  (Five bucks says that guy had a bowl cut, or maybe a comb-over.  But then, they can't all be silver foxes like one Mr. Rogers.)  Anyway, this behind-the-scenes peek to find out how my Kraft singles came into being was pretty amazing.  (No cracks about Kraft being 75% polyurethane; that's more of a "20/20" thing, and this post is all about the wonder and purity that is PBS).

The Land of Make Believe notwithstanding, few people love cheese as much as those who hail from Wisconsin.  There in America's Dairyland, they worship this cow by-product so much that they wear cartoon caricatures of it in on their heads.  So, as an, ahem, nod to this proud Midwestern tradition, I fashioned this Fabulous Felt Cheese Please Barrette.  You know.  For the milkman or maid in your life who wants to divulge a devotion to dairy.  Or, for the ardent Packers fan.  Which means that, yes, it's also dude-friendly (in case my milkman reference went unnoticed).  I'm willing to bet that there are at least a few long-locked Y-chromosome-carrying football fans out there who wouldn't think twice about donning a "Go, team!" wedge of cheddar.  Sure, they may have more than a few Old Milwaukees in them while they're doing it.  But that doesn't make it any less real.

So, thanks, cheese, for being the star-slash-butt of this post.  And remember, you're never really alone.

Unless you're Limburger.  Because Limburger is just disgusting.