Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Moving on Up: Opening the Doris of Possibility



Crazy Colors Cuff

Fabulous Felt Desert Flower Barrette

Top: Self Esteem, JCPenney
Skirt: ELLE, Kohl's
Shoes: Qupid, Alloy
Bag: Delia's
Jacket: Bisou Bisou, JCPenney
Scarf: Mossimo, Target
Sunglasses: JCPenney



 Emerald Empress Necklace

Tee: Merona, Target
Skirt (tucked-in dress): XOXO
Shoes: BCBG, Macy's
Bag: Nordstrom
Sunglasses: JCPenney



Fabulous Felt Phone Barrette

Top: Self Esteem, JCPenney
Skirt: Candie's, Kohl's
Shoes: Betsey Johnson, Macy's
Bag: Call it Spring, JCPenney
Sunglasses: JCPenney

Some weeks ago, I mentioned that I was trying to buy less clothing.  Since then, I've decided to take my endeavor to the next level by not washing any of my clothes, either -- at least not until I run out (pajamas, underwear, non-colorful stockings, sweat clothes, and socks excluded).  Not, you understand, in a dirty bum kind of way (there's only so far I'll go for my art), but in a let's-see-how-long-I-can-keep-this-thing-going-before-I-end-up-in-a-muumuu kind of way.  So far it's been a month, and my closet's still full.  Not bursting, with dresses and blouses sticking out every which way like gas escaping from a buffet glutton, but comfortably full, like it just ate a delicious-but-sensible chicken dinner and isn't about to tempt fate by chasing it with a sundae.  This experiment has forced me to think about just how much stuff I have as well as how many more different ways I can wear it.  After all, if the yellow blouse that you usually wear with your green skirt is dirty, then you have no choice but to try a peach sweater or lavender tee.  On a deeper level, this whole thing has made me redefine my relationship with stuff in general, with the collecting of it, the gazing at it, and the making the most of what's there.

Which is, as luck would have it, a right nice tie-in for my discussion of Hello, My Name is Doris. Starring Sally Field as the outlandishly dressed hoarder with a heart of gold title character, Doris is about a sixty-something woman's burning, obsessive infatuation with her office's new, much-younger art director (John, played by Max Greenfield).  Or, at least that's what it's about on the surface.  In reality it's about a woman coming to terms with her mother's death.  Mild-mannered and imaginative, bow-bedecked, cat lady Doris is the thinking woman's Walter Middy.  Part librarian, part little old lady-little girl hybrid, Doris is utterly charming and the perfect foil for her hard-nosed, no-nonsense pal Roz (Tyne Daly).  She works as a data entry drone, slogging through her humdrum days by slipping into dream sequences starring her (sometimes shirtless) beloved, then at night retreating to her mother's clutter-choked, Staten Island homestead.  Even her name is old-fashioned, not to mention the moniker of one of America's sweethearts (one Doris Day).  According to her catty coworkers, Doris is a "weird, shy person."  It's John who steps up and defends her as a "good kind of weird," setting the stage for the friendship that grows between them.

Spurred on by vulnerability, boredom, and a visit to a self-help guru (a charlatan [Peter Gallagher] who endorses turning the impossible into "I'm possible"), Doris enlists Roz's teenage granddaughter to help her stalk, er, pursue John.  To that end, the film is filled with cringe-worthy, hide-your-head-under-the-pillow moments, many of which involve Facebook.  Yet it isn't long before Doris takes her mission offline and out into the world, ingratiating herself with John's basic yet likable girlfriend (Beth Behrs) and braving the underground music scene.  She's soon befriended by a circle of twenty- and thirty-something eccentrics who appreciate her eccentricities, too.  What's more, her yellow jumpsuit, rainbow visor, and acres of day-glo jewelry land her an album cover for John's favorite band, an indie electronica group called Baby Goya.  Yet despite all this new-found attention, getting closer to John remains her heart's desire.  Over dinner, the two trade romantic war stories, with Doris revealing that she was once engaged.  Her fiance was a journalist who got a job in Flagstaff, but she couldn't make the move, instead staying in New York to take care of her mother.  I couldn't help but wonder how much happier she might have been in Arizona, decked out in bright colors against the southwestern landscape.  Maybe she would've gotten a cool job or had a baby or mass-marketed her (albeit from a mix-except-for-the-blueberries) cornbread.  It's these countless what-ifs that render her tale as miles more moving than John's.  Up until this point their relationship has been lopsided, with John getting the sympathy. 

Directed by Michael Showalter (Wet Hot American Summer, The Baxter, "Michael and Micheal Have Issues"), this funny, sweet, sometimes hard-to-watch story is a commentary on ageism and sexism as much as on having the courage to let your freak flag fly.  Field is phenomenal as Doris, as convincing in her fears and foibles as she is in her epiphanies.  Despite the 30-year age difference, I identified with Doris, and not just because we have the same pair of Hue pink polka dot stockings.  As do we all at one time or another, I know what it's like to be different, to sometimes hold back and be afraid to do things.  

Bookended by the imagery of opening and closing elevator doors, Hello, My Name is Doris is about one woman's much-delayed social debut.  Doris begins as awkward and tentative, shrinking into the safety of her inner musings.  But by the end, she's claimed command of herself, embracing the power of pushing the buttons to determine her own destination.


Some cacti in honor of Flagstaff.

Monday, April 11, 2016

In the Palm of My Sand




Dress: LC Lauren Conrad, Kohl's
Tank: Worthington, JCPenney
Shoes: Ami Clubwear
Bag: H&M
Belt: Apt. 9, Kohl's
Sunglasses: JCPenney

Fabulous Felt Pink Palm Tree Barrette

Fabulous Felt Green Palm Tree Barrette

Fabulous Felt Red Palm Tree Barrette 


If that other tree is the tree of life, then the palm tree is the life of the party.  In a forest full of stodgy oaks, pines, and maples, it stands out as the only Arbor Day honoree to be feted on MTV's Spring Break.  Yet it's also paradoxically tranquil, exuding a sweet, exotic peace unachieveable under less tropical trees, boasting foliage that proudly proclaims you're far, far away from anything stressful.

I first became transfixed by the palm's heady power when I was just six.  My parents and I were at the Orlando airport, on our way home from Disney World, when I begged them to buy palm tree seeds (in retrospect, they may have been coconuts) from the weird guy hawking them outside McDonald's.  My parents gently explained that palm trees don't grow in New Jersey, for the moment sidestepping the lecture about hucksters peddling the equivalent of magic beans.

Oddly enough, we do have a few palm trees in Brigantine that, ahem, mysteriously sprout up every summer.  There's a pair bookending the welcome sign and another half a dozen or so surrounding the island's Sandals-like beach bar (a real cheeseburger in paradise situation.  You know.  If New Jersey were annexed to Florida).  Someone once asked me how those palms survived up here in Yankee country, and I admitted that I didn't know.  In hindsight, I should've said something clever like, "that's between me and the mermaids."  But that's okay, because I said it here.  I've always thought that writing is nature's way of making up for all those times when we find ourselves tongue-tied, paralyzed by the relentless demands of real-time conversation.

That having been said, this week's barrettes are a shout-out to these botanical beach bums, Technicolor-style, not a green frond among them.  They're the perfect thing to wear when lounging poolside and nursing a margarita or two.  Or even while grocery shopping, which is where I wore mine this past weekend.  It made me feel festive during our freak April snowstorm, like summer was just a sunburn away.

I like to think I owe it my mango yogurt.

Monday, April 4, 2016

Up, Up, and Away: Big Sky and Cloud Coverage in Store




 Fabulous Felt Pink Balloon Bouquet Barrette


Top: Express, Marshalls
Skirt (that's really a dress!): Kohl's
Shoes: Ami Clubwear
Bag: Xhilaration, Target
Scarf: A.C. Moore
Sunglasses: Kohl's



Fabulous Felt Balloon Bouquet Necklace

Tee: Merona, Target
Skirt: Material Girl, Macy's
Shoes: Christian Siriano for Payless
Bag: Bisou Bisou, JCPenney
Belt: Apt. 9, Kohl's
Sunglasses: JCPenney




Top: Material Girl, Macy's
Skirt: So, Kohl's
Shoes: Christian Siriano for Payless
Bag: Nine West, Boscov's
Belt: Wet Seal
Sunglasses: JCPenney



Balloon Bow Barrette

Top: Self Esteem, JCPenney
Jeans: l.e.i, JCPenney
Shoes: Ami Clubwear
Bag: Nordstrom
Sunglasses: Michael's

Balloons are always cause for celebration.  Nina had 99 red ones, the guy from Up took to the skies with a bunch, and Jules Verne explored the world in one of epic proportions.  So, it's no wonder that I couldn't stop making accessories in their likeness.  Two necklaces blew up into a quartet of barrettes, a whole host of others hovering on the horizon of my imagination.  I think that one of the reasons these perennial partygoers are so popular is that they symbolize not just joy but possibility, their ultimate destination the proverbially limitless sky.  Indeed, whenever I drive home over the bridge into Brigantine, all I can see is sky and clouds, and it's like I'm driving up into the heavens.  All the houses look so quaint and small, putting everything into perspective.  It's a wonderful way to end the day and always makes me feel very lucky.  

On a less philosophical but nonetheless thought-provoking note, these same clouds remind me of NBC's new mid-season (albeit already wrapped) sitcom Superstore.  It's about (what else?) a Walmart-esque big box store whimsically and perhaps satirically christened Cloud 9 (not to be confused with the defunct Ocean City boardwalk shop of the same name) and stars America Ferrera (Ugly Betty, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants) and Ben Feldman (Mad Men, Drop Dead Diva).  Ferrera plays Amy, a sharp but jaded retail lifer who got married too young and, however guardedly, dreams of bigger things.  Feldman plays Jonas, an idealistic newcomer armed with ideas and an MBA.  They're at odds, but they like each other, their fledgling friendship revealing snippets of their backstories in each episode.  I didn't want to like this show, and initially I didn't (as per usual).  But like most sitcoms, it grew on me.  Its humor is sly but sophisticated, very relatable workplace stuff (as well it should be, brought to us by the creators of The Office), and the chemistry between Amy and Jonas is tense and tender, building over staff meetings and customer service snafus as naturally as a checkout line on a Saturday morning.  Their story may be stalled for now, but if the Internet predictions are true, then this duo will be back, price guns brandished, for a second season.

I saw America Ferrera talking about Superstore on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, and she said something that really spoke to me:  There are tons of shows about crime and intrigue, and those are all well and good, but it's the shows about everyday working class people, shows like Cheers and Roseanne that really teach us about life.  Or something.  I can't be sure -- I was downing Cheetos at the time.  Still, I agreed with her; humor is where the heart is, often offering the best insight into the human condition that TV has to offer.

I think that calls for a good old-fashioned grand opening-style balloon arch, don't you?  Maybe with a clown out front making balloon dogs and peacocks, dogs because everyone likes them and peacocks because of NBC.  The first hundred shoppers would get an America or Ben bobblehead and a free slushie coupon.  And just maybe, at the end of the day, some sugar-buzzed local would look up at the sky, sigh, and mutter, "My oh my, that's a whole lot of latex."

Monday, March 28, 2016

Egg Hunt at the Oval Office Party




Top: Delia's
Skirt: So, Kohl's
Shoes: Ami Clubwear
Bag: Marshalls
Belt: Apt. 9, Kohl's
Sunglasses: Relic, Kohl's




Dress: JCPenney
Top: Bongo, Sears
Shoes: Worthington, JCPenney
Bag: Xhilaration, Target
Belt: B Fabulous
Sunglasses: Michaels




Dress: Modcloth
Shoes: Guess, DSW
Bag: Modcloth
Sunglasses: Mudd, Kohl's

Move over, mammals (I'm talking to you, donkeys and elephants), an avian invasion is afoot (or perhaps I should say aflight) this Easter Monday.  For, this post is not about politics, but poultry.  Because there's nothing quite like the thrill of the hunt, and what is an oval but an unhatched egg?

Ever versatile, the incredible, edible egg comes in all shapes, sizes, and degrees of fancy, ranging from fluorescent plastic childhood favorites to the exquisitely precious Faberge.  Real eggs are both more complex and simplistic than these facsimiles, their delicate outer shells harboring the embryonic seedlings of new life within.  

This week's accessories -- barrettes, the whole lot of them -- celebrate this eclectic spectrum, serving up eggs and ovals of all varieties.  Whether hard-boiled, in cameo form (just like granny used to wear), or chock-full of a bowl of ambrosia's worth of fruit (just like granny used to make), all three embrace the spritely spring spirit that has come to distinguish this dairyland dream of a holiday (cheese and butter and eggs, oh my; Wisconsin, your ears must be ringing).  Sure, outfit number one is a little more Fourth of July than Easter Sunday, but then ham isn't far off from hot dogs.  To that end, here's an egg-cellent shot of some hard boiled beauties prepped for potato salad, yet another cookout queen contender.  Which just goes to show that summer is never more than a sunburn away.  

Sunday, March 20, 2016

I'll Stop the World and Felt With You



 Fabulous Felt Green Flowers Barrette

Top: Kohl's
Skirt: LC Lauren Conrad, Kohl's
Shoes: Chase & Chloe, Modcloth
Bag: Call it Spring, JCPenney
Belt: Candie's, Kohl's
Sunglasses: Mudd, Kohl's



Here's Looking at You, Unicorn Necklace

Green top: a.n.a, JCPenney
Tank top: Marshalls
Skirt: H&M
Shoes: Chinese Laundry, DSW
Bag: Candie's, Kohl's
Sunglasses: Mudd, Kohl's



Fabulous Felt Yellow Flowers Barrette

Dress: Xhilaration, Target
Shoes: Ami Clubwear
Bags: Charming Charlie
Scarf: Marshalls
Sunglasses: Relic, Kohl's

Ok, so Modern English was, well, English, and England and Ireland are lifelong enemies, which means that I can't even get away with a quippy "close enough" to rationalize this post title.  Still, I can't resist a good pun -- or 1980s hit song that pops up, decades later, in a McDonald's commercial.  So, I put together this trio of lean, mean, green fighting machine outfits this St. Patrick's Day weekend -- even if St. Paddy's is a holiday better known for beer than for baubles.  

On the topic of discrepancies, I might as well point out that I'm featuring only two felt things in this post as opposed to three.  But the other thing stars a unicorn, and any kawaii queen worth her sugar knows that the horned one goes wherever it wants.  Which is sort of fitting, because you can't have St. Patrick's day without rainbows, and rainbows go with unicorns like corned beef goes with cabbage, bringing everything full (although perhaps not quite sweet-smelling) circle.

So, here's hoping that you had a fabulous, festive, and fanciful wearing-of-the-green weekend.  Also, that you rode the hell out of that unicorn.  

Monday, March 14, 2016

Rapunzel, Rapunzel, Please Let Down Your Cares: The Hairy Truth About Happiness



Fabulous Felt Strawberry Banana Orange Barrette

Top: Express, Marshalls
Skirt: ELLE, Kohl's
Shoes: Betseyville, Macy's
Bag: Modcloth
Sunglasses: Michaels

Modern life moves at warp speed.  Pressures bombard us from every direction, smartphones and smarter screens only adding to the struggle.  (Although, to be fair, there's nothing easy about the old school practice of hacking a chicken to bits as opposed to, say, picking up some Perdue.  Ah, the good old days!)  That's why people say "keep calm and carry on," or "I'm going to my happy place."  I can't hear that last one without thinking of the end of Happy Gilmore when Adam Sandler daydreams about his grandmother hitting the jackpot, Chubbs alive and playing the piano, and a lingerie-clad Julie Bowen serving up pitchers of beer -- all meditations that help him win the big tournament.  My happy places are The Tote Trove, anywhere the husband is, and inside a good book.  Also, any of my favorite stores, although I've recently been making an effort to rely on those particular havens less often.  Not that I don't still love shopping -- let's not get crazy now!  But I'm trying to do the most I can with what I've got -- a goal, it seems, that applies to much more than stretching one's bead supply.

In this spirit of simplicity, I have only one piece to post this week.  And while I'm on the subject, I think I'll stop calling them "pieces."  It's so pretentious, like I'm hammering gold instead of cutting felt.  No, this week's craft is most certainly a "barrette" - a lovely, nostalgic, and very French word that evokes memories of allowance splurges on adornments for long, undyed hair.  In other words, the hallmark of less tress-stressed times.  Maybe that's one of the reasons I've clung to my girlish-meets-sister wives 'do for more than a decade -- it reminds me of when life was simple.  That, and more sophisticated hair care can be a real bitch.  (Yep, I used the b-word.  Because sometimes keeping calm and carrying on means sprinkling a little salt on your soup.)  

Nevertheless  . . . I'm considering cutting my mane.  Because I suspect that there really is something therapeutic about getting rid of all that dead weight.  Haircuts are no stranger to women in transition.  "The Big Bang Theory's" Kaley Cuoco cut her hair to skullcap proportions shortly after getting married -- and before getting divorced -- in real life.  And when Scarlett (Clare Bowen) lost her mom on "Nashville," she chopped her waist-length locks to an ear-skimming pixie.  But perhaps it was Sheryl Crow who, albeit breaking free of the coiffure coterie, said (er, sang) it best with her all-purpose and all-powerful mantra: "a change will do you good."
    
On a lighter note, briefer strands will be an even better canvas for showcasing -- what else? -- barrettes.