Farewell, Fred Flare

 Lollipop Dot Necklace

Cardigan: So, Kohl's

Camisole: So, Kohl's

Skirt: So, Kohl's

Shoes: Cape Robbin, Ami Clubwear

Lunchbox: Fred Flare

Scarf: A.C. Moore

 Chocolate Bar Bit Necklace

Sweater: So, Kohl's

Dress: Candie's, Kohl's

Shoes: Worthington, JCPenney

Bag: Glamour Damaged, Etsy

Hat: Neff, Fred Flare

Dress: Mocloth

Turtleneck: Boscov's

Bag: Marshalls

Wallet: Toddland, Fred Flare

Shoes: Journeys

Scarf: Apt. 9, Kohl's

 Bow and Bonbons Necklace

Tank: Boscov's

Skirt: Necessary Objects, Annie Sez

Shoes: Charles Albert, Alloy

Bag: Princess Vera, Kohl's

Belt: Apt. 9, Kohl's

Scarf: A.C. Moore

Red and Yellow Romance Necklace

Top: Liz Claiborne, Marshalls

Camisole: Marshalls

Skirt: So, Kohl's

Shoes: BCBG, Macy's

Bag: Fred Flare

Belt: Wet Seal

Coat: BCBG, Macy's

When I got the email saying that Fred Flare was going out of business, I couldn't believe it.  Where was I to find my seasonal supply of hilarious holiday gifts?!  A quick scan of the comments on the retailer's blog revealed that countless other consumers felt the same way.  I'll never forget last Christmas's poo book snafu. Or the Christmas before that when my dad proclaimed his Fred Flare log pillow to be one of his favorite gifts.  So, in deference to Brooklyn's finest (get out of my head, Andy Samberg), I've sprinkled this week's wardrobe picks with my most-loved Fred Flare finery.  I know, I know.  I thought there'd be more of it, too. Talk about a case of buyer's woulda-shoulda-coulda.

The Venerable Bead

 Hooray for Hoopla Necklace

 Amazon Adventure Necklace

Top: JCPenney

Cardigan: So, Kohl's

Skirt: Denizen by Levi's, Target

Shoes: Ami Clubwear

Bag: Delia's

 Great Balls of Gum Necklace

Top: Marshalls

Skirt: Forever 21

Shoes: Charles Albert, Alloy

Bag: Xhilaration, Target

Coat: Gap

 Purple Parrot Paradise Necklace

Top: Candie's, Kohl's

Camisole: Marshalls

Jeans: So, Kohl's

Shoes: Betseyville, JCPenney

Bag: Marshalls

Magenta scarf: Express

Print scarf: A.C. Moore

 United Unicorns Necklace

Tank: Xhilaration, Target

Cardigan: So, Kohl's
Jeans: So, Kohl's
Boots: Impo, Marshalls
Bag: Bisou Bisou, JCPenney

 Right on Retro Necklace

Dress: Rampage, Amazon

Shoes: BCBG, Marshalls

Bag: Apt. 9, Kohl's

Belt: Tournier Everything's $10

Bangle: B Fabulous

Stretch bracelet: Cloud Nine, Ocean City

Ring: Claire's 

Three Cheers for Cherries Necklace

Top: JCPenney
Cardigan: So, Kohl's
Jeans: City Streets, JCPenney
Shoes: Barefeet Shoes
Bag: Princess Vera, Kohl's

This week's post title presents a conundrum when it comes to penning puns.  Although its homonymic historical figure fits in nicely with this week's bead-heavy baubles (nearly no glue used this time, except for in Hooray for Hoopla.  But then it would be like one of the swinging sixties-style numbers to do something rebellious), he's a religious dude, a condition that puts the kibosh on all kinds of wordplay.  When blogging, I try to avoid the unholy triumvirate of cringe-inducing topics, namely, religion, politics, and money.  As well as anything else that sounds suspect.  For example, my first impulse was to christen the Amazon Adventure (necklace) the snappier and more menacing Fangs and Faces.  But that seemed wrong.  Especially when the faces in question are so cute.

Birthdays are for the Birds

I'm not ashamed to admit that most of my creative pursuits are an extension of my vanity.  Still, sometimes I like to make gifts for people.  This is always somewhat of a challenge, as it requires thinking about what kind of whatnot would make someone else happy (as opposed to what kind of whatnot would make me happy and then hoping that it catches the fancy of some like-minded shopper).  That's how I came to embellish this paper mache trinket box with a felt owl motif almost identical to the one in my Fabulous Felt Night Owl Necklace:

The box is for my sister as part of her (admittedly mostly store-bought) birthday present.  She's a fan of the feathered ones, but not so much of the super statement necklace, so I needed to figure out how to bring the necklace design to a new kind of canvas.  And then it hit me: who isn't bonkers for boxes?  They add a kind of quaint, old-fashioned charm to shelves, dressers, and nightstands and are ideal for storing tiny treasures like polished rocks and cute hairpins and candy (just so long as you don't forget to eat it, as sun-sapped chocolate is anything but a sweet surprise once the ants have set in).  Indeed, this bird-bedecked boite has a question mark of its own masked beneath its mess of green tissue.

So, does the enthusiasm of this endorsement mean that I'll be mass-producing and posting these things?  Maybe.  But probably not.  Unlike my mania for making necklaces, I think that an excess of this enterprise would cause it to lose its luster.  Kind of like, to quote the infinite wisdom of Rupert Holmes' "Escape (The Pina Colada Song)," "a worn-out recording of a favorite song."

A girl can listen to only so much Top 40.

Brooch Brigade

 Dragonfly Charming Chain Necklace

Blouse: Candie's, Kohl's

Crop top: Delia's

Skirt: Ellen Tracy, JCPenney

Shoes: Ami Clubwear

Bag: Betsey Johnson, ROSS Dress for Less

Scarf: A.C. Moore

Belt: Wet Seal

Sparkling Scorpion Necklace

Camisole: So, Kohl's

Cardigan: So, Kohl's

Skirt: Decree, JCPenney

Shoes: Ami Clubwear

Bag: Candie's, Kohl's

Belt: Wet Seal

Elephant Charming Chain Necklace

Top: Xhilaration, Target
Skirt: Denizen by Levi's, Target
Shoes: Ami Clubwear
Bag: Betsey Johnson, ROSS Dress for Less
Jacket: Wilsons Leather
Scarf: Express

Sure, the alliteration is there in the buzzy repetition of the bold letter "b".  But it seems incongruous to pair a frivolous adornment with a no-nonsense military group.  Or does it?  Both have shiny metal things, both provide light (well, at least, the Tennyson brand of brigade does), and both make a much-needed contribution to our modern world (i.e., sparkliness [in the case of the brooches] and protection [in the case of the brigade]).  

But enough about puns and poets.  All of this hoopla was hatched when I ordered this stunning necklace from Fred Flare:  

Now, as a rule, I try not to buy too many necklaces.  My collection is already huge, a thriving, colorful hybrid of handmade and store-bought strands that threaten to strangle each other in the crowded quiet of their quaint hatbox homes.  But this one was too eclectic and edgy and cheap ($9.99 down from $39.99) to resist.  Also, it will dwell within the sterile and strangle-free confines of a plastic baggie.  (Which will then, of course, be deposited within one of the aforesaid hatboxes.)  Once it arrived, I wore it immediately, an experience so lovely that it only heightened my hankering for hardware-harnessed pieces.  There was nothing for it but to make my own!  So I forsook my signature soft stuff (i.e., felt) and delved into my brooch collection for inspiration in the form of ornate and unusual accents.  I'd bought most of them about ten or so years ago when brooches were having a moment, and I wore them a lot, either singly or in messy clusters.  I still loved the designs - the patterns, the flowers, the elephants! - if not the wardrobe-warping pins, so giving them new life as necklaces killed two birds with one (rhine)stone.  In some ways these projects were easier and less tedious than my felt or collage necklaces - no cutting or gluing required! - but in other ways they were harder because they were more exacting, and being exacting is not exactly my strong suit.  Working exclusively with chains and jump rings was uncharted territory for me.  Those materials required balance, as did the cumbersome (and often stubborn!) brooches, so that everything would lie just so.  Physics, you were always my foe. 

It was a fun experiment, but at the end of the day, I liked the Fred Flare version better than any of my own (that combination of neon pink gem cluster and rhinestone-encrusted horse is, I'm certain, unparalleled in all of the costume jewelry kingdom).  Which was just as well, because I get more of a kick out of making felt, collage, and even simply beaded necklaces.  There are more opportunities for kitsch there, I think, and for me, kitsch will always be king.  Or maybe queen.

So I suppose I've lost this bauble battle, brigades notwithstanding.  But that doesn't mean that I can't be a contender in the wardrobe war.

Snarky sweaters, I've got my eye on you.