Thursday, January 23, 2020

Cleveland Frocks: The Price is Stripe





"The White Stripes may be a great band, but when it comes to wearing stripes, I'm all about color."

I think that would be a good opener for an infomercial about rainbow-striped sweaters.  The super cheap, super flammable, super acrylic kind that should be stockpiled in the back of a Club Wagon.  The spokesman (for some reason I see a man) is a portly fellow wearing a too-tight Crayola-striped turtleneck.  He has a comb-over and eyes like mothballs.  In the background, there's a silhouette of a guy with Flock of Seagulls hair whaling on air guitar to a jazz cover of "Seven Nation Army."  (When the producers asked Jack White about using the original, he said "hail no".)  The big finish is when Mr. Comb-over screams, "$9.99 are you out of your mind?!" while maniacally tugging at what's left of his hair. 

Now, I'm in no position to razz on cheap sweaters.  Because the one in the first pic was only $12.99.  Which isn't so far from Club Wagon territory -- even if I did buy it from that Club Wagon called Kohl's.  Still, the siren song of satire was too strong for me.

Here are some other stripes that I'm posting just because they look cool:


Maybe what that infomercial needs is a few scarves and pairs of tights draped around Mr. Comb-over's neck  Either that, or replacing Mr. Comb-over with Drew Carey.  And Kathy Kinney, otherwise known as Mimi.  Or, as I like to call her, Big M.

Because Big M. brings the bold.  Also the bullying.  But mostly the bold. 

If she and Jack White got into a fight, I think she could take him.

4 comments:

Dressed With Soul said...

Wow, your collection of striped sweaters is absolutely amazing and as usual I adore how you combined them! And I see you are even such a good purchaser when I read the prices you paid!
xx from Bavaria/Germany, Rena
www.dressedwithsoul.com

Kinga K. said...

What a colorful look,I love it ♥

Samantha said...

Love the funny scenario you imagined with the infomercial!! Also, "hail no" looks so funny in print. Stripes are definitely a lovely pattern on you and I adore your collection! They're so bright and fun (really love the one with the pink leopard-print bib necklace!). The turquoise beret is stunning, too! :)

Jewel Divas Style said...

A rollerskate bag! I need one!

And nothing wrong with stripes, especially multi coloured ones.