Curtain Call Drawl: Sass Menagerie

Ella Elephant Charm Necklace

Tee: Merona, Target

Skirt: H&M

Shoes: Guess, DSW

Bag: Nine West, Marshalls

Red and white bangles: B Fabulous

Orange bangle: Mixit, JCPenney

Green bracelet: Parade of Shoes

Sunglasses: The Tote Trove

Lator, Gator Charm Necklace

Tee: So, Kohl's

Skirt: Amazon

Shoes: Lilliana, Venus

Bag: Xhilaration, Target

Red bangle: B Fabulous

Black and white bracelet: Mixit, JCPenney

Yellow bangle: B Fabulous

Sunglasses: So, Kohl's

Prancing Bear Charm Necklace

Tee: Merona, Target

Skirt: Amazon

Shoes: Cape Robin, Ami Clubwear

Bag: Lily Bloom, JCPenney

Sunglasses: Michaels

Blue bracelet: Cloud Nine

Yellow bangle: B Fabulous

Green bracelet: Parade of Shoes

It seems that I'm still in a Tennessee state of mind, having just watched the season finale of "Nashville."  Why else would I combine a post about elephant, gator, and bear necklaces with a country music soap update and wrap it all up with a reference to a great American play?  I mean, other than as some sort of high-brow tribute to the Country Bears Jamboree.  And, somehow, I don't think Mr. Williams would like that.

But this post isn't about Tennessee's tales of love lost and not found.  It's about CMT's stories of the same kind, which are, of course, often as bittersweet as Music City's chart toppers.  Last Thursday was "Nashville's" season five finale, as well as its very first finale on CMT and without Rayna James (Connie Britton).  The story line centered around the precarious fate of Highway 65, Rayna's beloved self-made label for up-and-coming artists, with Avery (Jonathan Jackson) and Juliette's (Hayden Panettiere) and Scarlett (Clare Bowen) and Gunnar's (Sam Palladio) forever wayward romantic crossroads singing backup.  Deacon (Charles Esten), too, had new contenders in the romance arena, as he began the slow, arduous process of mending his broken heart.   Less cliff-hangery and more introspective than its predecessors, this finale seemed a fitting tribute to the new Nashville that took flight this season.  A Nashville, that is, that's more about people than plot twists.  And I, for one, can't wait to see where this as of yet untraveled road goes.  Good thing CMT meant what it said about cherishing and honoring the show (burn on you, ABC), picking it up for a sixth season.                   

But no need to pen a sad song just yet, because there's still a drop of bourbon-slash-sweet-tea left in this pitcher.  Which is to say, stop by next week for a new Nashville nugget.  And more necklaces :)   

Ear to the Ground (er, Crown Jewel)

Tee: Gifted
Skirt: Material Girl, Macy's
Shoes: Charles Albert, Alloy
Bag: Worthington, JCPenney
Sunglasses: Michaels

Green, Orange, and Purple Peanut Gallery Earrings 

Fuchsia, Purple, and Pink Sweet Swan Earrings

Mismatched Blue and Red Heart Earrings 

Bear Buddies Earrings

Yellow, Blue, and Pink Peanut Gallery Earrings 

Yellow Lollipop Earrings 

Red Lollipop Earrings

Mismatched Pink and Black Heart Earrings 

Hoop Memes Earrings

Red, Blue, and Orange Sweet Swan Earrings

Did you hear?  I left my heart in San Francisco, just like my shirt (and Tony Bennett) says and my ear in the mouth of a sand shark.  Well, maybe not my ear.  These lobes haven't been pierced since I was nine years old and let out an ear-splitting shriek in my mall's Piercing Pagoda.  I let my ears, which turned out to be "sensitive" (i.e., they'd pus up if anything less than 14k gold passed through their delicate epidermis) close up a mere few months later, forever slamming the door on my chance at third grade glamour.  They've remained unadorned ever since.

It's funny, then, that I recently started making my own danglers of the costume variety.  For years, people have asked me, "Why don't you make earrings?"  I never had a good answer.  (Somehow, saying " 'Cause my ears aren't pierced, Swiss cheese head!" seemed bad for business.)  Still, I persisted in my stubbornness, sticking with necklaces, barrettes, and the occasional novelty bag or bracelet.  Until now.  Yet another customer asked me about my earring-less inventory, and I thought, why not try my hand at a few auditory ornaments?  So, I bought some wire earring findings, attached chains and charms with jump rings, and now I have ten pairs!  It was so fun and easy.  I even got into gluing cabochons on the charms of some, delving into my craft supplies to make the most of what I had.  It just goes to show, I suppose, that breaking out of your comfort zone sometimes pays off.

Emphasis on the "sometimes."  Despite my excitement about my newfound artistic endeavor, I'm in no rush to return to the Piercing Pagoda.

Mermaid in the Shade: Look at this Stuff, isn't it Sweet?

Heartland and Sand Charm Necklace

Top: Wet Seal
Skirt: Amazon

Shoes: B.A.I.T., Zulily

Bag: Sugar Thrillz, Dolls Kill

Belt: Candie's, Kohl's

Sunglasses: Mudd, Kohl's

 Nautical Nonsense Necklace 

Colorful Carnival Cuff  

Nautical Nonsense Bracelet

Yellow top: Marshalls

Striped top: Aeropostale 

Skirt: So, Kohl's

Shoes: Charles Albert, Alloy

Bag: Xhilaration, Target

Belt: Apt. 9., Kohl's

Ocean Love Potion Necklace 

Magical Mermaid Hairpins 

Top: JCPenney

Skirt: Amazon

Shoes: B.A.I.T., Zulily

Bag: Sugar Thrillz, Dolls Kill

Belt: Candie's, Kohl's

Sunglasses: Mudd, Kohl's

First, a note about the "stuff."  The store-bought as opposed to handmade stuff, that is.  A chunk of it comes from the Internet, most notably my good pal Pinterest.  This Dolls Kill seashell bag and these Zulily BAIT wedges started life on my Bright Bags and Show-Stopping Shoes boards but ended up in my closet.  And I first spied these Amazon skater skirts on The Big Hair Diaries blog, where big hair aficionado Samantha regularly rocks them in a rainbow of colors.  That's what I love about the web: shopaholics helping shopaholics, one purchase at a time. :)   

Now that that's out of the way, on to the mermaids.  Because they're having a moment.  Pinterest (I told you she was a pal) is swimming with bags, tees, mugs, jewelry, you name it, splashed with images of these salty sirens.  Even the beach shop down the street from me boasts a "mermaid room" where you can have your picture taken as one such maritime maven.  I think it's for kids, but then those tails looked mighty long.  

Of course, I've always been hip to mermaids' magic.  Even as a second grader I wanted to be one in our class anti-pollution movie (yes, you read that right; no plays for us in high tech, 1980s South Jersey) even though my teacher had me slated to portray the "philosophical fish," a peacock feather-wielding do-gooder who warned humans of the dangers of discarding uncut plastic soda can rings.  This was right around the time The Little Mermaid came out, and as such, the height of my Ariel obsession.  Needless to say, it was farewell feather, hello fins!  Wearing that orange sequinned, slightly smelly rented mermaid costume made me feel far more glamorous than the humdrum hat and cape of that know-it-all fish ever could.

One of the things mermaids are known for (besides promoting recycling) is their enchanted tresses.  Ariel famously ran a fork (er, dinglehopper) through her fiery, animated locks, and any woman with a long, flowing mane is said to have mermaid hair.  So, when I set out to embellish my very first set of hairpins, I thought, why not go with seashells?  Pastel and pearlized, they make just the right contrast to the dramatic black pins.  Although I love the way they turned out, I still wanted to make something brighter, bolder, and, yes, bubbling over with big, bad beachiness.  And so I spawned this matching Ocean Love Potion Necklace.  Because if there's something else that mermaids are known for (besides luring sailors to their death), then it's sporting seashells on their chests.  

Or, at least sometimes.  For this wasn't always the case for the Stowaway With Me mermaid mascot:

This sign, oddly, is not in Brigantine, or anywhere else at the Jersey shore, but on a not-quite stretch of highway enroute to Philadelphia.  It's been there as long as I can remember, but it wasn't until ten or so years ago that the management of Stowaway Storage saw fit to cover mistress mermaid with a pink seashell bra.  (To be fair, pre-bra, her hair strategically covered her most scandalous bits.)  The why remains a mystery.  Who knows; maybe Stowaway was getting too many late night phone calls from sailors looking for a good time.  Elaine (because let's call her that, for reasons that may or may not be clear at the end of this paragraph) does have a big ass phone number plastered right next to her head. Also, if these Nautical Nonsense Necklace and Bracelet photographs are any indicator, then she has a shore thing for sponges, cartoon and otherwise.  

Sounds kind of fishy to me.

Soft Serve Curve: When Life Hands You Lemons . . .

Pink and Orange Pompom Necklace

Top: Rite Aid

Skirt: Forever 21

Shoes: First Love by Penny Loves Kenny, JCPenney

Bag: DSW, embellished by Tote Trove

Belt: Marshalls

Sunglasses: The Tote Trove 

Blue and Green Pompom Necklace

Top: Material Girl, Macy's

Skirt: Material Girl, Macy's

Shoes: City Streets, JCPenney

Bag: Marshalls

Sunglasses: Rampage, Boscov's

. . . wear a shirt that looks like lemonade.  Not, of course, that you need a reason to strut your stuff in sunny citrus.  After all, what else has all the rustic charm of a Mediterranean village and the free-spirited flair of a Caribbean island wrapped up in one tidy rind?  (You know, other than Bob Marley touring Tuscany).  To keep the exotic edge of these tops, well, edgy, I added punchy pompom necklaces that all but shout passport.  As soft, sweet, and bright as the juiciest fruit grove, they've got summer on a string -- er, wire.

Better than a bird, as Tweety and I always say.

Leather and Space: The Vinyl Frontier

Weather or Hot Big Bertha Charm Necklace

Top: Bisou Bisou, JCPenney

Skirt: Decree, JCPenney

Shoes: Chinese Laundry, DSW

Bag: B&B, Ocean City

Belt: Gifted

Sunglasses: Michaels

Fabulous Felt Saturn Brooch

Top: JCPenney

Skirt: Material Girl, Macy's

Shoes: Charles Albert, Alloy

Bag: Nordstrom

Belt: Marshalls

Sunglasses: Rampage, Boscov's

Sparkly Saturn Charm Necklace

Tee: Gifted

Skirt: Decree, JCPenney

Shoes: Ami Clubwear

Bag: Candie's, Kohl's

Blue purse charm: A.C. Moore

Bumblebee purse charm: Carole, JCPenney

Sunglasses: Michaels

Anyone who thinks that black leather is a don't in July has never ridden with a motorcycle gang . . . or been sideswiped by one on the highway.  Yep, winter, spring, summer, or fall, leather -- or even its genetically inferior twin, pleather -- is badass.  Indeed, when I wore this pleated pleather skirt with a black leather jacket and low ponytail a few months ago, the husband said that I looked like Steven Seagal.   

Leather/pleather miniskirts in particular embody their own mystery -- even if the mystery is the material they use for the pleather. You know what else is mysterious? Outer space (just ask a white dwarf or black hole or that dude who hosted The Twilight Zone).  So, I decided to send them (pleather and space, that is) on the same mission -- namely, to create some out-of-this-world outfits!   

Saturn, always my favorite planet (despite my distaste for the car of the same name -- and, uh, my love for oxygen here on Earth), takes center stage by starring in not one but two of this week's accessories.  Still, it's the ringless Weather or Hot Big Bertha Charm Necklace that's stolen my heart -- and has the Cupid's arrow to prove it.  The five huge, laser cut moon/star, lightning bolt/cloud, and heart/arrow acrylic charms actually came from key chains.  I love their unabashed larger-than-life-ness.  This necklace is what I imagine Flavor Flav would wear if he signed on with NASA.      

Here are some admittedly fuzzy close-ups of the skirts.  (Pleather's such a rebel that it doesn't even listen to cameras.)  Just pretend that they're a bunch of nebulae or the exhaust from a Hells Angels' Harley: 

My favorite is the one with the buckles and zipper (sorry, Steven).  That's why it's first and gets to be with Big Bertha.

That's all for this space hog blog post.  In the meantime, keep those crop circles spinning.

Fifi Phoenix Flies Again

Top: Decree, JCPenney
Skirt: Xhilaration, Target
Shoes: Nine West, DSW
Bag: Gifted
Belt: Hand-me-down
Sunglasses: Michaels
Barrette: The Tote Trove

Fifi Phoenix Necklace

There are no mythological birds in this necklace, just a beetle, peacock, and roses that I strung up to join the resident stars and shrunken Buddha head.  (At least I think it's a Buddha head.  But it could just as easily be an albino clown.)  Simply stated, this bauble wasn't blingy enough in its first incarnation. If a piece of jewelry isn't dripping with doodads and drama, then I can't help but feel that it's unfinished.  Because Christmas isn't the only time when bigger is better and gaudy is good.  Although according to some retailers (mostly, the ones with wacky waving figures and twice-yearly going out of business sales), it is that bargain-bonanza-palooza known as Christmas in July.  So why not get in the spirit and costume it up like Santa?    

When in doubt, peacock it out.  It's what the wacky wavers want this year.