Special Delivery: Baby Girl Blooms

On Thursday, June 6, I got up at 3:30 a.m. to pee.  When I finished, I looked down at the bathroom floor and was surprised to find it covered in water.  At first, I thought the toilet had overflown.  But then I realized that what had overflown was me.

My water had broken.

I was strangely calm as I shouted to tell the husband.  Then, still gushing, I threw on the leggings, T-shirt dress, and flip flops I'd set out and dialed my OB-GYN.  The doc on call asked if I was having contractions.  I said I wasn't.  She responded that I could "labor at home" for the time being.  Um, no.  I was coming in.

The husband dumped our bags into the car, and off we went into the night.  It was all so surreal.  The evening before, I'd called the hospital to get my induction time for the next day, and they said they didn't have one yet and would call me when a slot opened up.  Which had made me angry and anxious.  There I was, gearing up for the biggest, scariest thing I'd ever have to do, and they weren't sure they had a bed?!

Clearly, baby girl had other ideas.  One way or another, she was making her debut.

An hour later, I checked into the eerily quiet hospital.  Still, by the way, gushing, which would continue until I delivered.  The husband was there the whole time, and then my parents arrived, and my mom was there, too.

When they did bloodwork, I opened my trusty book, this time The Magic of Found Objects by Maddie Dawson.  The nurse said, "I've never seen a woman in labor read," and I muttered that I needed the distraction while my mom replied, "Oh, she's a big reader from way back."

I still couldn't feel any contractions, although they said I was having them.  They moved me to my room and gave me Pitocin to speed things up.  Once I started feeling a little pain, I asked the husband to fire up my playlist, which was '80s and '90s tunes.  I stood it as long as I could (the pain, not the music, which was, Cars pun intended, "just what I needed"), then thought maybe it was time for the epidural.  When I wondered if it was too soon, the husband said, no, go for it.  So I did, reading again as the anesthesiologist inserted the needle.

Before long, I was feeling no pain but could still move my legs, which I learned was rare.  It seemed I'd gotten the Cadillac of epidurals.  

Things went on like this until a bunch of nurses appeared.  Baby girl had dropped very quickly, I was almost completely dilated, and my doc was in the OR.  I also started violently shivering, which scared me.  But the nurses said it was a normal hormonal response.

Then my doctor appeared and it was time to push.  He instructed me to grab my legs and was surprised when I was able to do it.  (Like I said, Cadillac of epidurals.)  Then he told me how to push, and suddenly, I was doing it.  And guess what?  It didn't even hurt!  I'm told this went on for about an hour and a half, but it felt much shorter.  Then my doc, who was phenomenal, said just a few more pushes, and there she was!  The nurse laid her on my chest, covered in white stuff that I now know is vernix.  And I said, in wonder, "She's here!"

Charlotte Rose Johnson entered the world at 2:40 p.m.  She weighed 5 lbs. and 5.7 oz. and measured 19 in.  She has my hair and size (I was 5 lbs. and 9 oz.) and the husband's face, including his big blue eyes.  I'm told she pooped upon arrival. 

Way to make an entrance, kid.

I'm so incredibly grateful that Charlotte was born in the best way possible and is safe and healthy.  I worried about all of that for so long, so I truly feel that someone was watching over us.

Not that there wasn't or isn't hard stuff.  I was a little shell-shocked when I realized that I had to feed and change her from go and had no idea how to do either.  The night nurses would give me reports about her spitting up with stern warnings about choking hazards.  That first night, I just held her as she slept, terrified that something would happen to her if I didn't.  I know it sounds crazy, but at one point she smiled at me, as if to say she was okay.

Most of the nurses also told me that I didn't look so good and was very pale.  One even tested my hemoglobin levels only to begrudgingly admit they were fine.  I wanted to say, yes, it was an easy delivery, but I still just gave birth!  When I vented to my mom, she told me to take a shower, put on my pajamas, and do my makeup to show them who I really was.  So I spruced myself up.  And when the nurse who'd tested my hemoglobin came back, she said that I looked great and no longer needed the IV.  And that's when I realized that life continues to be a series of tests, endlessly pushing you to prove yourself.  I'd done it so many times in so many situations, and now I'd done it again, convincing those Nurse Ratcheds that I was okay.

Speaking of being okay, I wouldn't be if I didn't have the husband.  He's amazing with Charlotte, and I melt when I watch them together.  He instinctively knows how to angle a bottle and elicit a burp (Charlotte's a reluctant burper) and calm her down when she's fussy.  Of course, he knows how to calm me down too, which is worth its weight in the expensive cabbage cream I'm using to dry up my milk.  My specialty?  Changing diapers!  It was the thing I obsessed over the most, but it turns out that my meticulous nature means I'm good at eradicating every stray spot of poo.  On a less gross note, I love to sing to Charlotte (The Golden Girls theme song has recently entered the rotation) and tell her all about our family and house and the fun things we'll do someday.

She's an angel of a little girl, just like it says in the poem I hung in her room:

Charlotte Rose, you're meant to be,

Our little miracle baby.

Charlotte Rose, how sweet you are,

Our gift from God, our shining star.

I'm not usually one to drag God into things, but this time it felt right.

So now we're on an adventure, our little family of three, Charlotte and the husband and me.  And it makes me happier than I ever thought I could be.  

Yep, I can't seem to stop rhyming.  Nevertheless, I'll be blogging less, at least for a while.  Keeping a human alive is exhausting, even when she's the sweetest human ever and the husband's down in the trenches with me.  

So until next time, I wish you the best of luck on your adventures, wherever they may take you.

And one day Charlotte Rose and I will be back to read all about them.       

Berries and Baubles: The Final Countdown

Sparkly Sky Necklace

Top: FCUK by French Connection for Sears

Bag: Amazon

Headband: INC, Macy's

Selfie Saturday with Geoffrey at Macy's.

Clip: Wild Fable, Target

Necklaces: Betsey Johnson

Top: LC Lauren Conrad, Kohl's

Bag: Zulily; Top and clip: Marshalls

Tomorrow is D-Day.  "D" as in "delivery."  But also as in the actual D-Day, i.e., the World War II one.  Hopefully, mine won't be as violent.  

That means it's time to post my last pregnancy pics.  Also, a shot of the last book I read, Jenn McKinlay's Strawberried Alive.  A somewhat grittier-than-usual cozy, it's about a serial killer bumping off small business owners as well as, of course, strawberry cupcakes.  That said, I have four paperbacks stashed in my hospital bag, two romcoms and two mysteries.  I'm not naïve enough to think that I'll be able to read them, but I feel better just knowing they're there.

It's a weird feeling, this hurry-up-and-wait for the most important day of my life.  But I take comfort in knowing that countless women have felt the same way, and that most of them -- unlike those soldiers -- lived to tell the tale. 

So I don't think there's anything left to say except this:

See you on the other side. 

Roller Poster of Love: Pics of Pictures

Yesterday I learned that I'll be induced to deliver next Thursday, June 6.  Which was a little bit of a shock even though it shouldn't have been.  So I had a lot of thoughts swirling in my head, mostly about things I wanted to get done.  First on my list?  Assemble my photo album.  

As I mentioned in my last post, I had my favorite Tote Trove pics printed from Shutterfly so that I can look at them (among other colorful things) while in labor.  Because being pregnant is like being in line for a roller coaster.  You (if it was, of course, a planned pregnancy) chose to get on the ride, you want to get on the ride, but now that you're inching closer to the front, you wish you'd picked the merry-go-round.  Yet there's no turning back.  The crowd is pushing you forward, and those pretty ponies are a mere memory.  You're getting on that coaster.  And when you do, it'll be terrifying.  But also fun.  Once it's over, you'll wonder why you worried at all.  Because your life is undeniably fuller for the experience.  

That's how I feel about Thursday. 

Not that the exhilaration of besting an amusement park attraction equals the euphoria of having a child.  Or so I'm told.  But as you well know, wordplay helps me almost as much as pictures.  

Although I plan to keep posting between now and Thursday, my doc said that I may go into labor before then.  So if you don't see anything new from me, know that I'm screaming Space Mountain style, embarking on my biggest adventure.    

Got that, universe?  I said Space Mountain -- not Kingda Ka. 

Pattern Play for Memorial Day: The Past and Present in Pictures

Dress: Sonoma, Kohl's; Top: Simply Vera, Kohl's

The old but still awesome (to me, anyway) Happy B-Day USA Barrette Brooch.  Because July is just a gelati away. 😏

Cherry barrettes: SHEIN; Bow: Carole, JCPenney

Bow bangle: Holiday Lane, Macy's; Red bracelet: Guess, Macy's; Ring: Simply Vera, Kohl's

Flag necklace: Michaels

Bag: Betsey Johnson

Sandals: Katy Perry Collection, Zulily

Top: LC Lauren Conrad, Kohl's

Michaels

Sunglasses: Wild Fable, Target

Cherries from another time on one of the husband's timeless cutting boards.

Dress: So, Kohl's; Bag: Simply Vera, Kohl's

More Michaels.

Anchor necklace: Charming Charlie

BAND-AIDS and case: Target

Bag: Betsey Johnson, Modcloth

Sneakers: So, Kohl's

Top: Amazon

When I got pregnant, I said that I would never wear a body-con, i.e. tight, maternity dress that ostentatiously showcased my bump.  For me, it would be tasteful A-lines all the way.  And for the first eight months, it was.  But then I saw a form-fitting, blue-and-white-striped maternity T-shirt dress in (where else?) Kohl's, and all my carefully constructed resolve went out the window.  What can I say?  My wardrobe options were dwindling, and it would be nice to have something new to wear for Memorial Day.  So I got it.  I topped it with a red floral blouse I already had (also from Kohl's) and wore it to yesterday's family BBQ.  And everyone was like, oh, you look pregnant now!  In a nice way.  Because I do.  No shame in this bump game.

Then today it was off to Michaels to buy a photo album for the hundred plus prints I ordered from Shutterfly.  During one of my baby prep classes, the instructor told us how one woman brought horse posters and horse-shaped string lights to the delivery room because she and her husband ran a ranch, and horses were it for them.  (She also told us to buy a birthing ball from Dick's because Dick's has the best balls; I'm still proud of myself for not laughing.)  Naturally, I thought about what might be comforting for me to see when my time comes, and the answer was obvious: color.  Lots and lots of color, as captured in the pics I took for this blog.  So last Sunday, I went back through the years, picked the best ones, and made my order.  They arrived Saturday, and I love them. 

Lastly, I guess I should mention the BAND-AIDS.  As in, what's a pic of them doing here?  I got the case for free at Target a couple of months ago while stocking up on bandages for my glucose monitoring.  The design had such a groovy, '70s lifeguard vibe that I took a pic to post for the unofficial first day of summer.

So that's Memorial Day -- the maternity way -- in a nutshell.  

Specifically an almond shell, as almonds now make up most of my diet.  

Pink Lemonade Parade: Markers and Muumuus

Tunic: Cool Melon, Zulily; Kimono: LC Lauren Conrad, Kohl's

The yellow rose of Jersey.

Dress: Nine West, Kohl's

'80s-rific Sharpies I found in my office.

Bag: Delia's, Dolls Kill

Cowgirl clip: Wild Fable, Target

Big necklace and bow bangle and choker: Simply Vera, Kohl's; Fringe bangle and barrette: INC, Macy's; Collar clip: Hobby Lobby

Vest: Lisa Frank for XOXO, Macy's

Dr. Brown's has come to town.

Kimono: Love by Design, JCPenney; Bag: Elly & Ella, Zulily

It seems that I've entered my muumuu era slightly ahead of schedule.  But June is just around the corner, and so is this baby.  My docs tell me that I'll be induced as early as June 6 on account of my oldness.  They should have a definite date for me later this week.  It's all happening. 

Until then, I'm living the Whac-A-Mole life of completing one baby prep job only to have five pop up in its place.  That and the paperwork of pregnancy, i.e., making calls and filling out forms to continue my benefits.  But I still make time to read, craft, and blog to block out the impending assault on my body.      

Because it takes a village to raise a mom.  And that village is a self care retreat.