Rad, Dad . . .

 Happy Hipster Charm Necklace

Top: Decree, JCPenney

Skirt: Modcloth

Shoes: Christian Siriano for Payless

Bag: Sleepyville Critters, Zulily

Belt: Modcloth

Sunglasses: Brigantine Beach shop

. . . is what you'd say, unironically (because it is his day, after all), if your dad told a joke beginning with "Knock knock, who's there?", or for crustier dads and more mature audiences, "A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar . . .". Oh, Father's Day. You were invented by President Nixon ('cause Tricky Dick did one thing right) and kept kicking by Hallmark. But we see past the politics and profits to the ooey gooey sweet center of this celebration that simply states: I love you, man. If you look closely at life, then you'll see several parts of the padre, scattered helter skelter like so many fishing lures and foam fingers and tie tacks. There's that old rascal Father Time (as illustrated by these colorful watches on an appropriately masculine albeit glossy hardwood floor); A Wrinkle in Time, the classic story about a brilliant but flawed father who is missing, and finally, Miller Time, a tribute to that all-time fatherly favorite: beer.

Speaking of which, we salute you, weird little peach double scoop top that doesn't seem like it would go with anything. Yeah you, creeping up on the rad rainbow chevron. (This is a nod, I realize, not to anything Miller, but to those old Bud Light Real Men of Genius commercials. As in, we salute you, Mr. Rolling Cooler Cooler Roller Guy, the man who has everything -- everything except a friend to help carry a cooler.) Weird little peach double scoop top, I half-heartedly bought you on clearance years ago because you were too cheap to pass up and ended up wearing you a ton, especially layered under sheer blouses that look like melted sorbet (how's that for poetry, oh hauler of the hot dogs?). And good thing, too, because you turned out to be a great backdrop for this Happy Hipster Charm Necklace, a bad boy piece of bling that boasts a llama, rainbow, palm tree, cactus, and, to go with those brewskis, a taco and slice of pizza.

You know what else goes with brewskis? Hawaiian shirts. Just ask Real Man of Genius Mr. Hawaiian Shirt Pattern Designer Guy. Big kahuna indeed.

So, whether you crack open a Miller, Bud, or pink lemonade this Father's Day, we salute you, dads of America.

And also Mr. T, for making it cool for men to rock necklaces.