TV Tuesday: From VIP to DIY: Anything but Vanilla

When I caught my first glimpse of Vanilla Ice wielding a level in a Palm Beach palace, I thought I was seeing things (and also, of course, that something wasn't -- ha ha -- on the level).  But a closer look assured me that the '90s pop icon had indeed abandoned rapping for rafters to star in a reality show called -- you guessed it -- The Vanilla Ice Project.  At first I didn't know if it was more unbelievable that Vanilla Ice, or rather, Robert Van Winkle, somehow picked up and mastered a trade, or that gazillionaires let him into their homes, let alone remodel them.  But the bf stopped at least one of those stumpers in its tracks, informing me that Van Winkle (I'm sorry, I just can't do it), Ice and his crew aren't hands for hire; rather, they're restoring a mansion that Ice purchased and will eventually flip.  By this point, you're probably thinking, hey, what the heck kind of TV Tuesday post is this?!  Believe me, I feel your pain.  But summer means slim (TV) pickings.  Also, I can't help but be amused by the lyrical poet-turned-laborer and thought you might be, too.  Although my viewings of "VIP" have been few and far between, I was hoping to see some graffiti-style murals, day-glo upholstery, and/or industrial-grade chandeliers from which the Ice Man could swing in unchecked homage to '90s camp culture.  Because say what you will, but to echo that scene in Step Brothers where Mary Steenburgen rationalizes how Adam Scott stole the high school talent show from Will Ferrell with a Vanilla Ice impersonation: "Ice Ice Baby" is "a really good song."