Whinnying Through a Wintergreen Wonderland

 Black Rainbow Unicorn Necklace

Dress: Candie's, Kohl's

Camisole: Worthington, JCPenney

Shoes: JCPenney

Bag: Candie's, Kohl's

Jacket: Material Girl, Macy's

 Pink Rainbow Unicorn Necklace

Sweater: Boscov's

Camisole: So, Kohl's

Jeans: I Heart Ronson, JCPenney

Shoes: Charles Albert, Alloy

Bag: Candie's, Kohl's

Scarf: Macy's

 Yellow Rainbow Unicorn Necklace

Sweater: So, Kohl's

Camisole: So, Kohl's

Skirt: So, Kohl's

Shoes: Payless

Bag: Uniquely Different, Etsy

 Blue Rainbow Unicorn Necklace

Sweatshirt: Bongo, Sears

Skirt: Material Girl, Macy's

Shoes: Ami Clubwear

Bag: JCPenney

Jacket: Decree, JCPenney

When I unwrapped The Marvelous Book of Magical Horses from the husband this Christmas, I instantly knew that it was blog-bound.  It goes without saying that new toys are newsworthy.  But it was the equine excellence of these fashionable fillies that landed them best in show.  Indeed, they were just the thing to set off this minty montage of unicorn-accented winter wearables and add a dimension of depth in the form of questions such as:  What goes on at a horse costume party?, How do show horses keep from soiling their get-ups?, and How did that hellion of a black-and-red horse get into a children's activity book?  I fear I may suffer many a paper cut before finding the answers.  

Split Personality Style

Rainy Day Rainbow Necklace

Cardigan: So, Kohl's

Camisole: So, Kohl's

Skirt: So, Kohl's

Shoes: Charles Albert, Alloy

Bag: Princess Vera, Kohl's

Belt: Wet Seal

 Rainbow Owl Necklace

Dress: Mossimo, Target

Sweater: Jeanne Pierre, Marshalls

Shoes: Betseyville, JCPenney

Bag: Delia's

Coat: Gap

Scarf: Nicole Miller, Marshalls

Sassy Stripes Necklace

Blouse: Candie's, Kohl's

Tee: Wet Seal

Skirt: H&M

Shoes: Journeys

Bag: Nine West, gifted

Outfit number two gives off a preppy hippie vibe, an ill-advised cross between Eddie Bauer and Urban Outfitters (never mind that a not a stitch on dear Tammy hails from either retailer).  But, as is the explanation for so much of what goes on on this blog, I liked it.  For symmetry's sake, I feel bound to mention that the other two outfits are pure pop princess meets prep.  You know.  If pop princesses shopped at Kohl's and dressed like twelve-year-old sitcom stars.

Speaking of things that are mismatched, I was recently thinking about movies of 2013 when I remembered Jobs and how I'd expected more of a splash from a story in which an Apple icon is played by Ashton Kutcher.  If I ever met Ashton Kutcher, I fear I'd be compelled to say this.  He'd raise an eyebrow and ask, "Did you see it?" and then I'd be forced to look down at my shoes and mutter, "No, I did not."  

Packaged Up Pretty

Sometimes, I buy stuff just because I like its packaging.  Like this almost-certainly-icky-tasting-albeit-candy-shop-cute gum (it contains Aspartame), or this pretty-in-pink shampoo and conditioner duo that has no anti-dandruff agents whatsoever (this mane of mine is like a ski slope).  But the mother of all package-driven purchases is this fabulously retro Love's Baby Soft variety pack.  It's haunted me from the shelves of Rite Aid for the past couple of Christmases, only to vanish on the very day when I march in ready to make it my own.  So this year, when I saw those familiar pastel bottles winking at me from behind their cellophane, I knew that I had to act quickly.  Not only do they smell scrumptious, but they take me back to when I first bought a similar set at JCPenney with my allowance money, a memory so fuzzy that it made me consider picking up a second box for the holiday toy drive at work.  But the more I thought about it, cologne, however juvenile, didn't seem like donation material, so I went with a selection of Barbies instead.  Which, to be honest, I also sort of secretly coveted.      

The Long and Short of it Is . . .

 Beautiful Blue Lady Necklace

Top: Candie's, Kohl's

Skirt: Necessary Objects, Annie Sez

Cardigan: Merona, Target

Shoes: Payless

Bag: Princess Vera, Kohl's

 Punky Plumage Necklace

Tee: Delia's

Camisole: Worthington, JCPenney

Skirt: So, Kohl's

Cardigan: Delia's

Shoes: Worthington, JCPenney

Bag: Payless

 Mysterious Mask Necklace

Sweater: Candie's, Kohl's

Tank: So, Kohl's

Jeans: Candie's, Kohl's

Shoes: Worthington, JCPenney

Bag: Guess, Marshalls

 Rainbow Fish Necklace

Top: Kohl's

Skirt: JCPenney

Scarf: Marshalls

Bag: Bisou Bisou, JCPenney

Shoes: Betseyville, JCPenney

Cool Colors Necklace

Top: Jessica Simpson, Boscov's

Tank: So, Kohl's

Jeans: City Streets, JCPenney

Boots: Charles Albert, Alloy

Bag: Gifted

Coat: Worthington, JCPenney

. . . that fashion is fickle and sitcoms are super.  Allow me to explain.

In a not-so-recent episode of "New Girl," Nick mocks Jess's vintage handbag collection by saying (something like), "Mini skirts and rhinestone purses, that's what men want," before tossing said purse collection out the apartment window.  (For those of you thinking, "What the hey is she yapping about?", "New Girl" is a sitcom starring Zooey Deschanel as Jess, a wide-eyed, quirky teacher.  Nick is her curmudgeonly bartender boyfriend.)  "Hey, that's what I wear!" I couldn't help saying.  But the husband just shook his head and said, "No, not in the way he means."  I had to admit that he had a point.  Glitzy or not, my get-ups are more like Jess's not-quite-right purse collection than Nick's dream woman's wardrobe, in spirit if not exact style.  (Case in point: I'd never wear the rhinestone-encrusted mini featured in outfit number two without a pair of leggings).

It's no wonder that I'm always finding kernels of wisdom in sitcoms.  I love those thirty-minute comic morsels.  Whenever I'm having a bad day, I think about how what I'm going through would translate in sitcom-land.  More often than not, my trials seem instantly less cringe-worthy compared to those of the characters, lacking even enough drama to sustain a B plot.  Which is comforting.  At least until I start worrying that this may mean my life is boring.  

That's the sitcom part.  Now I'll backtrack to the fashion part, which is really just (surprise!) a blurb about my new necklaces.  

Lately I've been keeping things simple by working with just beads and pendants.  Last week it occurred to me that I rarely make long necklaces, which is weird, because I love wearing them, especially in layers.  So, I set out to string a few more inches, the result of which is evident in the elongated Beautiful Blue Lady and Mysterious Mask styles.  By contrast, the Punky Plumage and Rainbow Fish remain as abbreviated as ever, with the Cool Colors dangling somewhere in between.  Not bad progress-wise, with the eternal room for improvement flame still ablaze. 

An Unchained Medley and Two Hippie Crashers

 Blue Bauble Chain Necklace

Top: Alloy

Tank: Express

Skirt: Denizen by Levis, Target

Shoes: Ami Clubwear

Bag: Candie's, Kohl's

Jacket: Decree, JCPenney

Scarf: Express

 Neon Cameo Chain Necklace

Tee: Alloy

Blouse: Candie's, Kohl's

Camisole: So, Kohl's

Skirt: Denizen by Levi's, Target

Jeans: Marshalls

Gold pumps: Aubrey Brooke, DSW

Olive pumps: Nine West, DSW

Chartreuse coat: XOXO

Navy jacket: Wilsons Leather

Teal clutch: Steve Madden, Macy's

Sunset clutch: Apt. 9, Kohl's

 Magenta Madness Chain Necklace

Tee: JCPenney

Blouse: Candie's, Kohl's

Skirt: Boscov's

Shoes: Ami Clubwear

Bag: Eleven Peacocks, Etsy

Totally Toadstool Necklace

Dress: Wet Seal

Camisole: Worthington, JCPenney

Bag: Apt. 9, Kohl's

Shoes: Call it Spring, JCPenney

Key to the Kingdom Necklace

Caftan: Allen B, JCPenney

Camisole: Free People

Jeans: City Streets, JCPenney

Shoes: Ami Clubwear

Bag: Gifted

Scarf: Kohl's

I was all set to post this trio of righteously rhinestoned chain necklaces when a duo of hippie dippy doodads came along and messed up the configuration.  Kind of like how those free-wheeling folk singers of the 1960s muscled in on the classic crooners of the 1950s.  But then, it's the interplay of establishment and counterculture that makes things interesting.  Like a sleek shift dress paired with a fringed hobo bag, a structured button-down teamed with embroidered boots, or a commune sprawling on the lawn of a corporation.  If I squint, I can almost make out the mushrooms and daisies all wrapped up in pinstripes and the spritely alfalfa sprouts festooned with paisley.  Did I mention that the corporation in question manufactures haute couture muumuus?  Style while you sit, my friends, all wrapped up in a fresh contradiction.