Why the LBD is Not for Me (at least not in its natural state)

 Fabulous Felt Sharp Shapes Brooch Barrette

Dress: Candie's, Kohl's

Shoes: Not Rated, Journeys

Bag: Marshalls

 Fabulous Felt Desert Barrette

Tank: So, Kohl's

Jeans: City Streets, JCPenney

Shoes: Betseyville, Macy's

Bag: Marshalls

Scarf: A.C. Moore

Belt: Apt. 9, Kohl's

Fabulous Felt Rainbow Deco Necklace

Top: Monteau, Marshalls

Skirt: Xhilaration, Target

Shoes: Charles Albert, Alloy

Bag: Marshalls

Belt: Wet Seal

The little black dress has always been something of a nonstarter for me.  Classic or not, it's just too generic.  So when Dr. Lahiri (Mindy Kaling) voiced a similar sentiment to Dr. Castellano (Chris Messina) on The Mindy Project last February, I couldn't help but jot it down: 

"Let me guess, you want me to wear a little black dress, a push-up bra, and heels like every other boring, sexy, anonymous girl."

She says this while sporting a long-sleeved red sequined dress that earns the stink eye from the cantankerous Dr. Castellano.  Never mind that she ends up donning the dreaded LBD for her (doomed) Valentine's Day date with a dud played by none other than B.J. Novak.  Her words still hit the nail on the head.  Black dresses, and society's preference for them, aren't just about fashion -- they're about conformity.  A no-brainer to be sure, but nonetheless thought-provoking.  

That having been said, I was glad to have this blank canvas of an LBD upon which to showcase my Fabulous Felt Sharp Shapes Brooch Barrette, snappy new polka dot bag, and golden oldie polka dot pumps.  Even if the "L" in this case seems to stand for "long" instead of "little."  But then such is life in The Tote Trove, the land where acronym rewrites and fashion faux pas flow free.  

A Tribe Called Dressed

 Fabulous Felt Tribal Treat Necklace

Dress: XOXO, Macy's

Shoes: Madden Girl, Marshalls

Bag: Delia's

Scarf: Express

 Lemon Drop Rocks Necklace

Dress: Venus
Tank: Mossimo, Target
Shoes: Unlisted, Marshalls
Bag: Gifted

Lemon Drop Rocks With a Hint of Metal Necklace

Tank: Mossimo, Target
Cardigan: Delia's
Skirt: Macy's
Flip flops: So, Kohl's
Bag: DSW
Fuchsia belt: Marshalls
Orange belt: Izod, Marshalls
Sunglasses: Cloud Nine, Ocean City 

For fashionistas who march to the beat of their own drummer, there are few styles as seductive as those that trumpet the tribal.  Because whether they be Aztec-inspired, tropical, or even bohemian, tribal togs - and yes, I must say this - take you places.

Speaking of road trips that rock, I took a shine to these fun yellow mock rock pendants that serve as the focal point of two of this week's pieces.  I went so far as to augment the Lemon Drop Rocks version with an old (store-bought) rocky wrist cuff that always had trouble staying put.  But my real coup was the floral-frilled convertible clutch that I discovered on clearance for just $5.00 at DSW.  (I think the rock-bottom price had something to do with the slightly bedraggled blossoms that all but blurted, "I'm a return!")  I bedecked the bag with colorful pompoms, resulting in a look more calypso cool than even I could have hoped for.  Tote Trove-tastic, indeed!

Seeing the Forest Through the Accessories

 Fabulous Felt Rain Forest Rhumba Necklace

Dress: XOXO, Boscov's

Shoes: Marc Fisher, Marshalls

Bag: Apt. 9, Kohl's

Scarf: Boscov's

 Fabulous Felt Dewy Deco Necklace

Dress: Annie Sez

Shoes: Chaps, Kohl's

Bag: Xhilaration, Target

Fabulous Felt Rain Forest Flowers Barrette

Top: Macy's
Tank: Old Navy
Skirt: Macy's
Shoes: Nine West, DSW
Bag: Nine West, Boscov's
Scarf: Boscov's

Few things say lush like a rain forest.  (Well, except for maybe endless margaritas.)  This week's trio of treats was inspired by just such unfettered foliage.  Unified by the cleansing palette of spring's celebrated mints and emeralds, it echoes the paradoxically soothing excitement of this breath-taking biome (to indulge in a word most at home in a grade school science textbook).  The result is a bold bubble of beauty minus the mess - and, in this case, the malaria.  If only real life could be as serenely bug-less.          

Hey, Sailor

 Fabulous Felt You Are My Anchor Barrette

Top: Victoria's Secret

Jeans: Olsenboye, JCPenney

Shoes: Ami Clubwear

Bag: Kenneth Cole Reaction

 Rose Riot Corsage Necklace

Dress: Jessica Simpson, Marshalls

Shoes: Ami Clubwear

Bag: Old Navy

*If the two shots of this Rose Riot Corsage Necklace look a little bit different, then it's because they are.  To my dismay, I ran out of pink acrylic pearls halfway through making the necklace in picture number one.  I couldn't find any more in the stores, so I settled for the oversized white acrylic pearls to finish the job.  Guess what?  I ended up liking the asymmetrical, funky look better than the matchy-matchy one that I initially went for.  So, I've listed the (still perfectly pretty) pink version and look forward to sporting the "mess-up" one myself.  Let's hear it for happy accidents!       

Fabulous Felt Gone Fishing Barrette

Top: Urban Outfitters

Cardigan: Arizona Jeans, JCPenney

Skirt: So, Kohl's
Jeans: City Streets, JCPenney

Shoes: Not Rated, DSW

Bag: Loop, Marshalls

There comes a time in every blogger's tenure when she must decide whether or not to assume the voice of a pirate.  So before I sail on, Bill Murray-as-What-About-Bob?-style, with this week's silly soliloquy, I've elected to assume that voice now, as in, "Thanks for not making me walk the plank on account of me wordplay, me mateys."  

With that, time to shove off (to the rest of this post).

The Jessica Simpson dress in outfit number two is va-va-voom in a down-home kind of way, not unlike Ms. Simpson herself.  Perhaps if Brandy had donned such a stunner, then her sailor would've never said, "my life, my lover, my lady, is the sea."  Then again, she probably could've suited up like a Vegas showgirl with similar results - he seemed like just that sort of cad.  Most men (or sea creatures; I'm talking to you, SpongeBob) would do anything but "sail away, sail away, sail away" from such delightfully nautical nonsense.  Take that, Looking Glass.  On second thought, don't.  Cad notwithstanding, you still beat out Enya.