Sweet Feet: Madden Girl Madness

All Madden Girl from Kohls, except for the blue pair, which is from Macy's.

It's been a minute since I posted about shoes.  So when I snagged these bottle green patent slingbacks, it seemed like the perfect time to revive that tradition.  Because there are few things I enjoy more than collecting stuff and then photographing it.  That said, here are my top five favorite pairs of Madden Girl kicks, so grouped because they remind me of candy.

Clearly, the countdown back to carbs has begun.

Sweet & Showy, Chase & Chloe

Shoes, shoes, and more shoes!  That's just one of the things you've come to expect from The Tote Trove (the blog, not the shop; I can make lots of stuff out of felt and beads, but stilettos aren't one of them).  And today I'm all about one brand in particular: Chase & Chloe.  I never even heard of it until a few years back when I discovered Zulily.  But once C&C's (can I call it that, or will the C+C Music Factory get mad?) rainbow of footwear filled my screen, I was hooked.  There were so many styles to choose from, ranging from retro to contemporary, and looking at them made me feel like a kid in a candy store (hey, it's a cliché for a reason).  Better yet, Chase & Chloe shoes are so affordably priced that it took no time to grow a collection.  Here it is in all its T-strapped, Mary Janed, and slingbacked glory.  True, you've already seen most of it, but I thought it'd be fun to corral it all into a class picture.  Or better yet, a reunion shot of shoes from various decades.  If I squint really hard, I can see a pair of '80s neon pumps (we'll call her Chase) and a pair of '50s spectators (we'll call her Chloe) talking each other's heels off by the punch bowl.  And is that a Lucite wedge leading a conga line?  

Everybody dance now indeed!

Reptile Resurrection: Buyer and Boa Beware

Clockwise: Mix No. 6, DSW; ALDO, Macy's; Mix No. 6, DSW; Steve Madden, Macy's; ShoeDazzle, Zulily; Mix No. 6, DSW

The only good snake is a dead snake.  Or, better yet, a fake snake.  Which is as good an intro as any to the rainbow of faux reptile rollicking here.  Once upon a time, I had a whole terrarium full of snake print stuff.  Skirts, bags, belts, you name it, I had it, choking the life out of the neighboring leopards and florals.  And then one by one, I weeded them out, thinking, these wild wardrobe sidewinders just aren't for me.  Then, about six months ago, snake print became trendy again, and I, forever a slave to fashion, was helpless to avoid its scaly embrace.  Because there's something irreverent about wearing snake print, especially in unnatural colors.  It's like you're changing the snake from an agent of death into a fun party crasher.  It's still dangerous, but in a good way.  Like riding a rickety roller coaster.  As opposed to, say, riding a rickety roller coaster run by a clown.    

So take heed, boas, cobras, and garters (especially garters, as you're the one I'm most likely to see).  Mess with me, and I'll turn you into stilettos.   

Treat Feat

Flip flops: Katy Perry Collections; Mules: Mix No. 6, DSW

You know how these days every day is its own mini holiday?  Like National Ice Cream Day or Free National Parks Day or Hug a Sloth Day?  (I made that last one up.  Although there is an International Sloth Day; its motto is "slow down to celebrate.")  Well, today is Treat Yourself Day.  And I only know that because my sister, who goes over these celebrations with her three-year-old daily, told me.  She also texted me that it's (Amazon) Prime Day.  To which I replied, "I know, how apropos!"  And we both LOL'd because, Tom Haverford (Aziz Ansari) and Donna Meagle (Retta), hashtag Treat Yo' Self, Parks and Recreation.   

Gift from my sister last Christmas.

Another thing that's apropos today is that my $3.50 flip flops arrived from, not Amazon, but Katy Perry Collections.  They were so cheap because I used my loyalty points from my previous plunders to buy them.  I was doubly excited because just last week I got a free pair of Mix No. 6 mules from DSW, an acquisition made possible by stacked rewards certificates.  And so I thought, what better time than Treat Yourself Day to post them?!  So here they are, my comfy fab finds, a treat for the eyes and arches.    

If only I could say the same about Jerry (Jim O'Heir) -- er, Larry -- on Parks and Recreation.

Back to Mule Cool

 

Notice I didn't say "back to school" or "Moscow mule" or even that other, unmentionable kind of mule.  Because no one wants to go back to school (especially this year!), and Moscow mules are just plain yucky.  But "cool" is the perfect adjective to describe these candy-colored Katy Perry kicks.  The broken-hearted valentine of a handbag is also pretty badass.  I amassed these four scores over the course of several flash sales on the Katy Perry Collections site, and it was a heel of a good time.  $100 accessories for $30 each?  Yes, please!   

Speaking of school (as we were, sort of) and California grrls, I just read a book about a Golden State mother-and-daughter duo embarking upon an East Coast college tour.  I Was Told It Would Get Easier, by Abbi Waxman, is as buoyant and biting as Waxman's other works (remember The Bookish Life of Nina Hill?).  Just the way a feel-good yet satiric and introspective novel should be.

Mama bear Jessica and angst-ridden Emily don't always . . . get along.  Jessica's a workaholic lawyer, and Emily is sick and tired of being asked what she's majoring in.  What's more, each is also hiding a secret.  Led by an overzealous millennial intent on curating campus-bound camaraderie, Jessica and Emily battle criminally competitive parents, old and new loves, and even relatives as they ponder the East Coast's answer to higher education, raising the question: Will this trip be just what the guidance counselor ordered? 

Only Abbi and I know.  And we're not telling.

That said, here's a part I like that has nothing to do with anything I just talked about:

Jessica on the Ford's Theatre Museum gift shop:

"I love a good museum gift shop; it makes it possible to both spend money and feel erudite.  Sure, some people would argue that museums are for education and inspiration, not the purchasing of assassination-themed merchandise.  But they would be wrong." (93)

Jessica, I couldn't agree with you more.  It's always smart to take advantage of shopping.

Which, convenience of conveniences, brings us back full circle to those mules.

Land Sakes, it's Land O'Lakes: Time for a Crustacean Vacation

Shoes: Nine West, Kohl's; Bag: Elizabeth and James, Kohl's

Whenever I hear the word "buttercup," I don't imagine a field of flowers.  I see a silver ramekin brimming with melted Land O'Lakes, a plump lobster glistening by its side.  Maybe that's why I plopped this pair of yellow pumps and matching bag on top of a tropical print place mat.  It's like my own sartorial-meets-gastronomical getaway, a tiki hut hideaway of indulgence tucked into my mind.    

If the top pic represents golden goodness, then the bottom one is seafood sans the sizzle.  And by sizzle I mean, of course, butter.  You know the sound it makes in the pan when you heat it up to fry a grilled cheese?  Well, that's what I hear in my tiki.  Because the ramekin is really a cauldron, a bubbling little crock of a pot running on rebellion and Sterno.  As for the unbuttered version, it's beautiful too, albeit restrained, like a too gourmet meal or an early bird special. 

That's why it's so fun to celebrate food and fashion, two of life's simple yet frivolous pleasures.  What would the daily grind be without their pop and sparkle?  All granola and gunnysack dresses, I guess.  So I make it my business to enjoy them.  Which means pass me the butter -- but make it the light kind, please.  Epicurean or not, I don't have a death wish.  As the song says, build me up buttercup, but don't break -- or, in this case, clog -- my heart. 

So, be bold, go for the gold, and follow the yellow brick road to your tiki.

And be sure to lock the door in case Dr. Oz comes a knocking.

If These Corns Could Talk . . .

Top row: Anne Michelle, J. C. Penney's; Mix No. 6, DSW; Mix No. 6, DSW; Betsey Johnson, Macy's; Impo, DSW; Jessica Simpson, DSW

Middle row: Qupid, Ami Clubwear; Bucco, Kohl's; Impo, DSW; Mix No. 6, DSW; Kenneth Cole Reaction, Marshalls; Two Lips Too, J. C. Penney's

Bottom row: Shoe Republica, Ami Clubwear; Nine West, Kohl's; Naughty Monkey, Zulily; Mix No. 6., DSW; Breckelle's, Ami Clubwear

. . . then I'd be all ears.  And by corns I mean the ones on your toes that you get from wearing stilettos.  (By the way, if you're wondering what corns would say, I think it'd be something like, "Thanks for being vain and giving me life!  Don't ever switch to Easy Spirits!)  I've never met a heel that I didn't like, but this quarantine has changed my favored footwear to slippers.  Also, flip flops when I take out the trash.  Yet in a strange way, not wearing my shoes makes me appreciate them even more.  Instead of being (albeit beautiful) necessities to get me from point A to point B, they've been elevated to works of art above the indignities of dirt and toe sweat.  Wearing them seems like blasphemy.  After all, parking lots are minefields of old gum, lugees, and cigarette butts.  And those are the nice ones.

Before the pandemic, I wouldn't think twice about putting on a pair of skyscrapers and traipsing all over Target.  (To be fair, I'd usually been to work first, but still, wearing heels never stopped me from shopping.)  Sometimes people (usually old ladies) would stop me and say, "How can you walk in those things?!"  I'd smile and say that I was used to it, then go on my merry way, praying that I wouldn't fall on my face.  But on the inside I was always annoyed.  Now that the most uncomfortable thing to pierce my sole is a tread-studded slipper sock, I've gained a different perspective.  Because those shoes were painful.  Maybe those ladies weren't so much catty as concerned about my arch support.

That having been said, here are some of my most striking clodhoppers for your (and, okay, my) viewing pleasure.  I love how snug they look in their happy box beds, all arranged like tarted-up tessellations.  It's tough to pick a favorite, but if pressed I'd have to go with the Impo red rainbow wedges.  Which is ironic because they're completely canvas.  I usually avoid buying sandals with any kind of fabric inside because I hate that mark your skin leaves on them (toe sweat strikes again!).  But this summer I knew I'd be wearing them for a few minutes at most just to take pictures and thought, why not?  Thanks, COVID-19! 

I've yammered on about heels enough for one post.  But am I any closer to deciding if wearing them can be rationalized away with a glib, too-glam-to-give-a damn, insert hair toss, "Beauty is pain"?  Or, is this so-called fashion statement as barbaric as foot binding in ancient China?  As much as I love giving my bunions a break, a picture's worth a thousand words.  Or, as is the case with this picture, steps.  Which is my way of saying all hail the heel.

So, here's to having your corns and eating them too.

Look out ladies of Target.  It's on.

Squad Soles

 From top left center clockwise: Journee, Kohl's; Michael Antonio, JCPenney; Betsey Johnson, DSW; Anne Michelle, JCPenney; Betsey Johnson, Macy's; Betsey Johnson, DSW

Left, left, left, right, left . . . is a reference to shoes and the Army.  As is this quote from Private Benjamin:

"I wanna wear my sandals.  I wanna go out to lunch."

Goldie, you got it.  Because when the going gets tough, the tough go shopping.  Shoe shopping.  So here are some pairs that I purchased this fall, arranged in a Ferris wheel starburst.  My favorites are the rainbow ones from JCPenney.  But I also love the black and leopard cut-outs from Kohl's.  They're ladylike but fierce, like a beauty queen who's also a wrestler.  Plus, they came with an inspirational postcard.  You can't see all of the writing because some of it's white, but it says: "Happiness is just a pair of shoes away."  

You said it, Journee!  I'd expect nothing less from a footwear company named after a trip that also teaches you something.  

Kind of like Private Benjamin.  And also a mean game of dodgeball.

Jelly Jam Glam: Fancy Foot Quirk

Grapes and watermelon: Macy's; Snow cone, rainbow, and peach: Zulily

Flip flop goes my heart whenever I see a choice pair of sandals.  So, it was somersault city when I caught sight of Katy Perry's new geli (not jelly; it says so on the box) collection.  I bought a bunch and have been wearing them all summer.  Not only do they go with everything, they're super comfy, and I got them cheap.  What more could a woman want?  You may recall my post about the yellow ones on the Fourth of July.  They were my first pair and are still my favorite.  Nevertheless, I couldn't resist featuring all five pairs in their almost all edible (unless you include the rainbow on account of the Skittles slogan) glory.  The fruity ones are even scented!  When the husband was carting them in after our vacation, he said they smelled like fruit punch.  What a sweet way to mask summer swamp foot.  Good job, Katy!

This post wouldn't be complete without some shots of one of the boxes.  How cool is this design?  It's so '80s-'90s modern arty.  Not unlike the one on the Kohl's credit card.  (Although, ironically, you can't buy these there. :) 

Add that iconic cyclops eye and you've got a real closet cutie.

So here's to fresh steps and fresh footwear.

Scratch (ing post) that first part; no need to plug kitty litter.

Baby, You're a Fire Perk: Can't Hold a Candle to Sandals

Left to right: Penny Loves Kenny, DSW; Mix No. 6, DSW; Shoe Carnival

A Roman candle, that is.  Because these sandals are plastic and will explode if near an open flame.  That's right.  This Fourth of July, I'm rolling out the red, white, and blue carpet for new kicks.  Only the white is yellow, which is okay because yellow is the final destination of white anyway.  (Kind of like Legally Blonde 2: Red, White, and Blonde.  But you know.  Not.)  You need only look at your teeth (unless you use those painful whitening strips) or your mother's wedding dress (unless your mom tied the knot yesterday, in which case, get in on those cake leftovers already) to know that it's true.

That said, there's nothing to raise the spirits like a new pair (or three) of sandals.  (Unless it's a new handbag.  Or a piece of cake.  Or a new handbag shaped like a piece of cake.)  And there's something especially glam and feminine about shoes that show off your toes.  Even if they do make your feet sweat like Big Foot slogging through the Sahara.

Anyhoo, here's a shot of me all dressed for the Fourth:

What's that you say?  Why am I not wearing my new heels?  Because it's America's birthday, and my tootsies are taking a break.  I am, however, wearing Katy Perry flip flops and a balloon necklace (which, full disclosure, I made for one of my birthdays).  And am, most importantly, keeping the red, yellow, and blue theme alive.

So, three cheers for things getting old and crusty.  And for pyromania in the name of patriotism. 

It's what our forefathers would've wanted.

Kick Start My Heart: Feels for Heels

From left: Chase & Chloe, Zulily; Chinese Laundry, Zulily; Chase & Chloe, Zulily

I promise that I'm not getting an, ahem, kickback from Zulily to blog about these shoes. Although if Zu wanted to toss me that new pair of yellow Jessica Simpson ankle straps that I just bookmarked, then I wouldn't cry unethical. But if I can't get a pair of great shoes for free, then the next best thing is getting them for next to nothing. Because you can never have too many, and getting each pair cheaper means getting more.

It's a strong woman who can resist a new pair of kicks -- and an even stronger one who buys them anyway and endures the pain. A pain that comes, of course, from the bunions, corns, and hammer toes that are the price of fashion-forward footwear. Although today's trio isn't high on height -- or torture -- I wear plenty of pairs that rival skyscrapers. Whenever my feet sprout fresh deformities, I always think of that part in Shopaholic and Baby when Becky Bloomwood's gyno lectures her about her heels, tsk-tsking that fashion is bad for your health. This makes me angry. Becky already has to battle morning sickness and bloating; she shouldn't have to give up cute shoes, too. Then again, her gyno turns out to be a husband-stealing ass clown, so what does she know? Furthermore, the gyno's clothes are boring, which is a kind of symbol of her inner ass-clownery. You know what they say. Never trust a woman in sensible shoes.

They also say that beauty is pain. Which to me means the bunions are worth it.

Circus Quirkus: It's a Jungle in Here

When you're a crafter, sometimes you make things that you don't want to wear or sell.  Or even give away.  But that you still want in your life.  These animal cracker brooches are some of those somethings.  If you're thinking, hey, aren't those just Nabisco box parts cut out and covered in glitter glue?, then you're right.  They're as basic as all get-out, a little "Hey, mom, look what I made!"  Still, for whatever reason, they speak to me.  I may tack them up in the craft room.  Why not?  It's like a circus in there.

Speaking of the big top, here's my pair of Circus pumps complete with their jaunty striped box.

Now, black doesn't exactly scream three rings and a fire eater.  Even black studded with rhinestones.  But then, who am I to question the great Sam Edelman's name for his line of shoes for everyday people?  Believe it or not, I only recently discovered that Sam & Libby, the creators of those bow-topped ballet flats that adorned the tootsies of every babysitter and retiree from Tulsa to Boston, are the very same Sam and Libby Edelman who peddle high-end footwear to ladies who lunch (no 9-to-5 for them, babysitting or otherwise).

I remember my mom wearing the ballet flats when I was a kid (I think they were light green), and I had my own pair in white.  A few years ago, I was lucky enough to nab a metallic version at Target on clearance for $10.  Apparently, the Edelmans reissued this style to the store exclusively.  (So sweet of you, Sam and Libby!)  If they look a little grotty, then it's because I wear them everywhere.  They're the most comfortable shoes I own, and they go with everything.

Anyway, the pumps (which I got at Kohl's for about $35) are super versatile and even kind of comfy.  I've worn them a lot this fall and winter and like them so much that I wish they came in other colors.  Like hot pink, lime green, or other shades worthy of a trapeze artist.

Still, even if they came in the rainbow itself, I wouldn't trust them on a tightrope.

In the Skimmer's Circle With Fruit and Fiber: Good for the Body, Good for the Bowl

From top left, clockwise: Charles Albert, A.C. Moore; Nine West, Marshalls; City Streets, JCPenney; Cherish, Zulily; Bella Marie, Zulily; Katy Perry, Zulily; City Streets, JCPenney; A New Day, Target

The cusp of sandal season is a weird time to extol the virtues of closed-toe flats.  (It's also a weird time for a potty pun, but then, what isn't?)  I don't know about you, but my feet are far from beach ready.  Partly from all the high heels I wear, which are notoriously hard on the tootsies.  As Christian Dior says on the March page of my shoe calendar, "high heels are painful pleasure."  One of these days, I'll fire up the old foot bath and show those callouses who's boss.  But in the meantime, coverage is key.  So I'll keep my secret safe with all the flats I've amassed since last fall.  Truth be told, I wasn't too psyched about the navy and burgundy crushed velvet ballerinas when I first bought them (such deep, dark colors, such an unfortunate comeback of a bad '90s trend).  But I ended up wearing them a lot, as they're super comfy and go with everything.  The Katy Perrys are my favorite, but I haven't even worn them yet (although to be fair, I only got them last month).  I love the little seamstress's tomato on the toe, complete with colorful straight pins.

Speaking of which (a tomato is a fruit, isn't it?), on to the fruit and fiber.  Sometimes friend, sometimes foe, they keep you fab and help you go.  So, they're not just a cereal, but a way of life.  And also, it seems, a handbag.  I had such a good time embellishing these canvas and burlap wristlets with patches and rhinestones.  And why not?  They feature all of my favorite things: fruit, rainbows, cacti, sweets, and red lips, a veritable crafters' cornucopia of quirky cute kitsch.

Miscellaneous Madness Wristlet 

Punchy Produce Wristlet 

Tasty Treats Wristlet

And now, for another one of my favorite things, the compostest with the mostest -- daffodils!  These little trumpeters are tops in the garden -- or in this case, parking lot -- with me.  

Ah, spring things, how I love thee.  Two thousand crushes worth indeed.

Pinning Plays: Shoe Montage Collage Flashback

Clockwise from top: Ami Clubwear; Charles Albert, Alloy; Ami Clubwear; Worthington, JCPenney; (center) Not Rated, Journeys

Left to right: ELLE, Kohl's; Bucco, Kohl's; Madden Girl, Macy's

Left to right: Guess, DSW; Ami Clubwear; Guess, DSW

Big news, I'm being pinned!  No, I haven't become a gorgeous lady of wrestling or joined a sorority.  The Tote Trove is finally on Pinterest!  I suppose it would be more accurate to say that I'm finally pinning as opposed to being pinned, which could also be a pun for winning, but the sorority-wrestler thing was so much more fun, don't you think?  Anyway, I got "pinning" in in the post title.  So, I guess that's two wins. Er, pins.

For years, people have been telling me to get on Pinterest.  "You'd love it!"  they'd say.  "You can find anything!"  For those not in the know, Pinterest, "the world's catalog of ideas," is kind of like Facebook, only with just pictures.  All kinds of pictures of everything, uploaded by users and copied from all over the web.  So, instead of reading an update on Aunt Enid's bunion surgery (no disrespect to Aunt Enid, as I'm sure my wild shoe-wearing ways will land me in the podiatrist's office sooner than later), you get new pics of wedges.  And booties.  And stilettos.  All sailing past in dizzying Technicolor.  (See what I did there?)  Anyway, at first I resisted.  Not because I didn't think I would like it.  Oh, no.  Because I knew just how much I would like it, that once I started, my collector's nature would take over, and I'd be pinning anything and everything with abandon.  There's no doubt about it; Pinterest is the Pringles of the social media world.  Part of its lure, I think, is the whole FOMO (i.e. fear of missing out) thing.  Because if you find one fantastic hat/skirt/bag/necklace, then there's no telling just how many more are a mere scroll away, waiting to light up one of your already bursting boards.  (Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that that's where you put your pins -- on boards.  I have about twenty, with have names like Nifty Necklaces, Bright Bags, Awesome Outfits . . . you get the idea.)  It's inspiring and exhilarating, a fabulous fantasy land of fashion at my fingertips -- if only I never leave my computer!  Indeed, more than once the husband has resorted to wheeling me away from the screen, usually at dinnertime.  I can't say I blame him.  It's a sad day when mac n' cheese can't compete with (for all intents and purposes) imaginary stilettos.  I've been at it for a month, and so far I've amassed more than five thousand pins.  Which, now that I say it, sounds like too many.  Still, although this technological trend has fueled one obsession, it's curbed another, perhaps more deleterious one, namely shopping.  Instead of going out and buying two new shirts, I can pin dozens of them from the comfort of my own home without spending a dime.  What's more, when I do venture out to the stores (or, as they so quaintly say in Britain, "the shops"), most of what I find looks oh so tragically basic.  Just one more example of how the internet skews our expectations.

Anyhoo, yesterday I decided to take some of my own shoe pics to add to the photo fracas.  One wouldn't upload to my Show-stopping Shoes board because Pinterest can sometimes be a finicky priss.  But no worries, because they're all here!  That's right, I'm embracing my shoe montage roots for a cute reboot (there's a line I'm sure I've used before).  If these punchy pumps and wacky wedges look familiar, then it's because . . . you've seen them before.  But never in such colorful configurations, or against such brilliant backdrops!  Here at the Trove, I've learned some things over the years.  Like, there's no such thing as too much color.  Really, sometimes I marvel at the way posterboard has changed my life. 

Speaking of which, gotta jet.  A fresh pair of Ferragamos is waiting.

Stripe Up the Brand: 2 Lips Too, Too Much, Nice Clutch

 Darling Deco Bow Necklace

Top: Bisou Bisou, JCPenney

Skirt: Xhilaration, Target

Shoes: 2 Lips Too, JCPenney

Bag: Fred Flare

Belt: Apt. 9, Kohl's

Sunglasses: JCPenney

No doubt about it, this post title is a mouthful.  But then, how else to laud labels that have got the gamed licked?  Yes, it's mid-priced mainstays 2 Lips Too and Bisou Bisou (French for "kiss, kiss!") puckered up into one puckish package.  Both brands hail from JCPenney.  Well, the online version anyway, which is often much snazzier than its stuck-in-the-1990s brick and mortar mother.  Failing department store chain or not, JCP still has an appetite for awesome, yet enough restraint to maintain its girlish figure.  That's right; this retailer has returned to the discount game.  Thanks to a clearance sale and a $10 rewards certificate, I got three pairs of these stripey stilettos for the price of one.  I'd been stalking them for what seemed like forever, waiting for just such an opportunity.  Who could blame me?  They're so distinctive and different and doll-like. 

I especially love their clear plastic inserts in contrasting colors.  They're like little slabs of stained glass in the windows of what I imagine to be Barbie's Disco Dance Party play set.  The disco ball would descend to the (mirrored!) dance floor and open up into a vanity for those sweaty, post-Hustle touch-ups.  (Are you listening, Mattel?  I'm sitting on a goldmine here.)

What I'm really (okay, always) saying is, accessories make the mood/party/outfit.  Which is why this Merry Berry Cherry Necklace, with its lipstick-red rhinestone cherry pendant, is such a fun, fruity finishing touch for this loudmouth ensemble.  What's that?  This isn't the Merry Berry Cherry Necklace, but the Darling Deco Bow Necklace?  Well, you caught me; it turns out that the cherry necklace didn't go with this outfit after all.  That sort of snafu sometimes happens here at the Trove.  Good thing I have a never-ending supply of sparkly subs to step in.

Cherries or no cherries, it would be really rad if Mattel could come up with an enchanted forest called the Ornate Orchard.

Hey, a squirrel can dream.  

Connect the Dots, La La La

 Penny Loves Kenny, DSW squared.

"P" is for polka dots.  And also Pee-wee Herman.  Who would be proud, I like to think, to be linked to these quirky cute kicks.  Not that he's done us proud since he last sat on Chairy.  But such is the way of TV folk.

The Fantastic Fourth: Flip Flops and Fireworks

From left to right: So, Kohl's; Michaels; So, Kohl's

Christian Siriano for Payless squared.

Clockwise: Chinese Laundry, DSW; Dolce by Mojo Moxy, DSW; Penny Loves Kenny, DSW; a.n.a., JCPenney

It's been more than a year since I've done a shoe montage -- because it's been about since then that I've bought more than one pair of shoes.  Shocking, I know.  But this spring I broke down and bought some basics -- and some not-so-basics -- and just like that, the bug was back in my system.  So I thought, what better time to bust out my buys than on America's birthday?

Blogging and buying, those are my super powers.  

It's Only a Paper Shoe

Every Christmas I get a Workman Publishing shoe calendar.  And every year (well, every year later), I cut out the pictures because they're too exquisite to throw away.  Here's a sampling of my stash:

So, some weeks ago, in the spirit of my recent use-every-part-of-the-pig crafting ethic, I decided to make some of them into brooches.  At first, I was pretty excited.  I glued and rhinestoned and ribboned, all the while thinking, "Hey, I'm on to something!"  But, then, without warning, the whole enterprise began to seem kind of doomed, the pieces shaping up to be -- for lack of a better word -- wonky.  It was all very disappointing, kind of like spotting the perfect pair of pumps on a far-off department store riser only to find out that they have kitten heels.  But such is life, so often trampled by the foibles of footwear.  I'll either wear them myself or add them to my free gift grab bag, but I won't list them.

Dress: JCPenney

(No need to adjust your monitor; those are indeed two different shoes that you're seeing.  Although I've never braved the look myself [too much uneven pavement out there] it's my nod to Helena Bonham Carter, who's done just that on more than one red carpet.)

Pink T-strap: Payless
Blue leopard pump: Ami Clubwear
Black scarf: JCPenney
Belt: B Fabulous
Bow scarf: Gifted
Fuchsia scarf: Express
Sunglasses: Relic, Kohl's
Bag: Fred Flare

On an unrelated note, I may have given Halloween candy short shrift last week.  Since then I've been scarfing down the leftover fun-sized snacks, an experience that reintroduced me to the joys of Twizzler-tinged Milky Ways and Snickers-scented Dots, flavor mash-ups that could come only from the fragrant fracas of a Halloween candy bowl.  Chocolate and fruit, delightfully artificial and all up in each other's grill -- it doesn't get any sweeter than that.

It's High (Heel!) Time for Another Shoe Montage

From top left, clockwise: Ami Clubwear; Madden Girl, Marshalls; Ami Clubwear; Betseyville, JCPenney; Bandolino, Marshalls; Ami Clubwear; Aubrey Brooke, DSW

About three months have passed since I've gathered enough new shoes to round out a fresh heel wheel.  Of course, this latest crew is a little bit motley in that it features heels and flats as well as a sleek black number "wedged" in between.  Although the wedges are far plainer than my usual picks, I was so taken with them upon my first sighting at Marshalls that I made a special return trip there just to get them.  Even the wackiest woman, after all, needs a pair of blank canvas kicks.  I wore them yesterday with last week's neon cloud dress and am happy to report that they're very comfy.

But that's a wedge for you, a paradox of pizzazz and dependability, not unlike a nice big chunk of cheddar.

It's Been a Long Time Since . . .

From top left clockwise,: Ami Clubwear; Dolce by Mojo Moxy, Shoe Dept.; Adrienne Vittadini, DSW; Worthington, JCPenney; Payless; Payless; Ami Clubwear

All four pairs from Payless.

. . . we've had a shoe montage!  So long, in fact, that it was 2012.  Here's a sampling of some of the shoes I've stockpiled since then.  A whopping six pairs came from Payless, a place I haven't frequented in nearly a decade.  Browsing online one night, I fell in love with their retro-inspired, soda-shoppe-shaded T-straps, so much so that I couldn't help but buy them in all four colors and then snap them Warhol-style.  I was wearing the yellow pair while browsing the jewelry supply aisle in Michaels when a salesperson (at least I think she was a salesperson) commented that she liked them, then segued into a tribute to Whoopi Goldberg's fancy footwear as featured on "The View."  I thanked her, promising to Google the celebrated accessories, and then we went our separate ways, me toward the checkout to pay for my baubles and she, presumably, to disappear back into the bowels of the stockroom.

See that.  Shoes, bringing people together, right there amid the jump rings and pendants.  Such things do my heart (and feet!) good.