So, if this site spontaneously self-destructs, then at least you'll know why. I've read that it's a good idea to back up your blog. I'm not sure what this means (how does one back up a Web site?), but I'm spooked enough to remember that episode of Sex and the City where Carrie sees the Sad Mac on her screen and loses all her files and everyone keeps asking her, "didn't you back everything up?", and she keeps having to say, "no," all ashamed. I think I once tried to save the blog site content to a CD. Maybe that would be a good (albeit unsophisticated) idea. Wish me luck.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
The Terror of HTML Errors
Friday, April 29, 2011
Fiction Friday: Part 2
It's time for another installment of The Bird Lady. (If you want to catch up on the first installment, just click the Fiction Friday link in the tags list on the left-hand side of the screen.)
****
Lucy stomped off into the kitchen to root through her junk drawer, determined to unearth the coupon for a dollar off a purchase of three or more honey sticks that she had stashed away the week before. A regular at PetSmart, she would return tomorrow, Sunday, for her weekly stock-up visit. She went to the supermarket for herself only half as often. Lucy was big on clipping coupons. But then, she had to be, especially after her no-good louse of an ex-husband Morton had walked out on her three years ago. He'd met a woman at a Star Trek convention and had announced that they were in love. When Lucy had protested, he said that none of it would have happened if she had bothered to learn Klingon.
Morton had been irritating. He liked his socks rolled just so and his roast beef still practically bleeding. Although he was a lawyer, he had insisted that Lucy continue working as an assistant at Ralphy's World of T-Shirts, a local print shop that made tees emblazoned with beer mugs and suggestive sayings. Much as she hated to admit it, Lucy supposed that that had been for the best, since she now depended on her salary to support herself and her darlings. It made her wonder if Morton hadn't been planning his escape all along.
She hadn't gotten the birds until he'd left. She had expressed an interest in getting a parakeet years ago, but Morton had always snuffed out her plans, declaring birds, or "avians," as he called them, to be dirty, money-sucking little creeps. Now she didn't know what she'd do without them. Grooming, feeding, and entertaining them gave her purpose. She had Christmas cards made with them each year. The first year Morton was gone she had mailed him one just to annoy him, but Zelda, his new wife and fellow Star Trek-a-phile, had returned it unopened. This gave Lucy an odd sense of satisfaction because she'd decided that it meant that Zelda was threatened by her.
And why shouldn't she be? Lucy had provided Morton with an excellent home for the better part of thirty years (she was now fifty-two, dried-up and useless at everything except data entry) and had borne him a son named Milton (his choice of name, not hers), who had also grown up to be a lawyer, no small result of his father's influence. Milton lived in Tallahassee with his wife Beth, a reluctant county clerk forced to toil for her keep in much the same way as her mother-in-law. Lucy didn't hear from him much, but they shared a mutual hatred of Zelda. In rare moods of malevolent whimsy they made fun of her blonde bouffantish hair, which resembled a beehive. Lucy reckoned that it provided housing for a whole family of birds, mostly because she knew how much that would infuriate Morton.
"Daddy was an asshole, wasn't he?" Lucy sang out to Finchy, Swan, and Wren, flinging aside coupons for Ramen Noodles and Shake n' Bake. She'd taken to saying that to them in moods of pique, even though they had never met the said "daddy" and would not have liked him if they had.
****
Be sure to stop by next Friday for more.
****
Lucy stomped off into the kitchen to root through her junk drawer, determined to unearth the coupon for a dollar off a purchase of three or more honey sticks that she had stashed away the week before. A regular at PetSmart, she would return tomorrow, Sunday, for her weekly stock-up visit. She went to the supermarket for herself only half as often. Lucy was big on clipping coupons. But then, she had to be, especially after her no-good louse of an ex-husband Morton had walked out on her three years ago. He'd met a woman at a Star Trek convention and had announced that they were in love. When Lucy had protested, he said that none of it would have happened if she had bothered to learn Klingon.
Morton had been irritating. He liked his socks rolled just so and his roast beef still practically bleeding. Although he was a lawyer, he had insisted that Lucy continue working as an assistant at Ralphy's World of T-Shirts, a local print shop that made tees emblazoned with beer mugs and suggestive sayings. Much as she hated to admit it, Lucy supposed that that had been for the best, since she now depended on her salary to support herself and her darlings. It made her wonder if Morton hadn't been planning his escape all along.
She hadn't gotten the birds until he'd left. She had expressed an interest in getting a parakeet years ago, but Morton had always snuffed out her plans, declaring birds, or "avians," as he called them, to be dirty, money-sucking little creeps. Now she didn't know what she'd do without them. Grooming, feeding, and entertaining them gave her purpose. She had Christmas cards made with them each year. The first year Morton was gone she had mailed him one just to annoy him, but Zelda, his new wife and fellow Star Trek-a-phile, had returned it unopened. This gave Lucy an odd sense of satisfaction because she'd decided that it meant that Zelda was threatened by her.
And why shouldn't she be? Lucy had provided Morton with an excellent home for the better part of thirty years (she was now fifty-two, dried-up and useless at everything except data entry) and had borne him a son named Milton (his choice of name, not hers), who had also grown up to be a lawyer, no small result of his father's influence. Milton lived in Tallahassee with his wife Beth, a reluctant county clerk forced to toil for her keep in much the same way as her mother-in-law. Lucy didn't hear from him much, but they shared a mutual hatred of Zelda. In rare moods of malevolent whimsy they made fun of her blonde bouffantish hair, which resembled a beehive. Lucy reckoned that it provided housing for a whole family of birds, mostly because she knew how much that would infuriate Morton.
"Daddy was an asshole, wasn't he?" Lucy sang out to Finchy, Swan, and Wren, flinging aside coupons for Ramen Noodles and Shake n' Bake. She'd taken to saying that to them in moods of pique, even though they had never met the said "daddy" and would not have liked him if they had.
****
Be sure to stop by next Friday for more.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Book Report (sort of): I Love Ken: My Life as the Ultimate Boyfriend by Jef Beck
So, Ken. He's kind of a shadowy, unsung hero of little girl world. If you were anything like me as a kid, then you hid your disappointment when someone got you Ken instead of Barbie for Christmas or your birthday. Because at first glance, what would a pig-tailed five-year-old girl want with a male doll sporting questionable clothes and molded hair? But it's not Ken himself that holds the allure -- it's the supporting role he plays in Barbie's oh-so-fabulous life. Without him, there'd be no reason for her to wear those star-speckled dresses or hop into her Malibu-bound convertible. This seems to be what Jef Beck is saying in his tome to the plastic prince, especially in sound bites such as these:
"Pack her calendar with dream dates." (34)
"When she says the occasion will be "totally glam," understand that it might involve sequins." (20)
And, of course:
"Would Barbie put up with this?" (44)
On second thought, maybe Ken isn't all that bad.
I Love Ken: My Life as the Ultimate Boyfriend features an impressive array of pictures of Barbie and Ken dolls spanning fifty years. I recognized a lot of them from the late 1980s and early 1990s, some of which I had as a kid. I couldn't help but think, "ah, those were the days when Barbie was Barbie," eschewing all the new-fangled models haunting toy store aisles today. I'm sure women who met Barbie in the 1960s and 1970s feel the same way, turning their noses up at later versions.
I Love Ken: My Life as the Ultimate Boyfriend also boasts a centerfold. Or, as Beck puts it, a "Ken-terfold." In it there's a fireplace, a rose, and a framed picture of Ken. And on that note, I think I'll sign off.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Something New and Sparkly: One for Me, One for You
Fabulous Felt Bright Shapes Necklace
I'm not sure what came first, this leopard top I spied in Macy's, or the idea for this felt necklace explosion, but once I had both in my hot little hands I knew I had to wear them together. There's just something so theatrical and fun and just a little bit 1980s about wearing all that hard-edged color against an animal print. I liked the necklace so much that I made a nearly identical version to post in my shop.
Monday, April 25, 2011
New Etsy Buys: Clutches That Are Just Ducky
I'm a Barbie Girl Clutch
Studded Peacock Clutch
I'm Gonna Getcha Pacman Clutch
I was beyond impressed by both the craftsmanship and the amazing, bold designs. Just look at how intricate that peacock is! Eleven Peacocks even personalized that one with my name at no extra charge.
Not wanting to force my new gems into my already-bursting purse closet, I carved out a space for them between a shoe box tower and a hat box tower on top of the purse closet. (I'm just waiting for one or both of them to come tumbling down and attack me in my sleep.) If you like these bags (and who wouldn't?), then be sure to check out Eleven Peacock's entire selection. She has some really awesome pop culture-inspired designs that are sure to scream for a place in your closet. (Or purse corner or hat box valley or whatever. 😀
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Easter Treats
Fruit Ambrosia
Double Layer Chocolate Pie: Fancy cookbook version
Double Layer Chocolate Pie: Messy "slice of life" version
I prefer no-bake, refrigerate-only desserts. You know, the kind that are made of pudding, JELL-O, Cool Whip, cream cheese, prepared pie crusts, and/or canned fruit. Easy to make and nearly impossible to mess up, they're cool, colorful, and refreshing, and offer a kind of 1950s kitsch factor that just can't be beat. So, it should come as no surprise that I chose to make Double Layer Chocolate Pie and Fruit Ambrosia as my contributions to Easter dinner. If you're a fan of such things and want to give them a whirl, then here are the recipes:
Fruit Ambrosia
Ingredients:
1.5 cups heavy cream
1.5 cups sour cream
Half a 7-oz bag coconut
1 cup miniature marshmallows
1 16-oz can pineapple
2 small cans mandarin oranges
1 jar maraschino cherries
Dash confectioners' sugar
1 cup slivered almonds (I never add these. Because I don't understand what some crunchy, tasteless nuts are doing in an otherwise creamy dessert. This thinking also explains why I hate nuts in brownies. Not to mention sundaes.)
Directions:
Whip heavy cream. Fold in sour cream, marshmallows, and coconut. Add drained fruit. Add almonds (or not).
Double Layer Chocolate Pie (from JELL-O: Celebrating 100 Years)
Ingredients:
4 oz cream cheese, softened
1 tbs whole milk
1 tbs sugar
8 oz Cool Whip
1 6-oz prepared chocolate crumb crust (I couldn't find chocolate, what with the Easter rush, and substituted graham cracker. It tasted just as good.)
2 cups cold whole milk
2 4-oz pkgs instant chocolate pudding
So, how did they turn out? The pie was delicious, really thick and creamy. The ambrosia was more of a miss, partly because I forgot the dash of confectioners' sugar. (The time I made it before that I forgot to drain the canned fruit enough and had a watery mess). Maybe fruit ambrosia isn't nearly impossible to mess up. Then again, maybe it's me.
Directions:
Mix the cream cheese, 1 tbs milk, and sugar in a large bowl with a wire whisk (or beater) until smooth. Gently stir in 1.5 cups of the Cool Whip. Spread onto the bottom of the crust. Pour 2 cups of milk into a bowl. Add pudding mixes. Beat with wire whisk (or beater) until well mixed. (Mixture will be thick.) Immediately stir in the remaining Cool Whip. Spread over cream cheese layer. Refrigerate 4 hours or until set. Garnish as desired. Makes 8 servings.
Oh, and here's the "fun fact" from the bottom of the cookbook page:
"In addition to Bill Cosby, famous spokespeople for JELL-O have included Jack Benny, Andy Griffith, and Ethel Barrymore."
So, how did they turn out? The pie was delicious, really thick and creamy. The ambrosia was more of a miss, partly because I forgot the dash of confectioners' sugar. (The time I made it before that I forgot to drain the canned fruit enough and had a watery mess). Maybe fruit ambrosia isn't nearly impossible to mess up. Then again, maybe it's me.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Book Report: Happy Ever After by Nora Roberts
"Amazonia?"
"It's the girl world in my head, where I go when I'm annoyed with Carter, or just men in general. There are five shoe stores per capita, nothing has any calories, and all the books and movies end happy ever after."
"I like Amazonia. When do we leave?" ' (Roberts 288)
That's a little snippet from Happy Ever After, the Nora Roberts book I just read. I posted it because I like it (what woman wouldn't like a place with five shoe stores per capita?), and because Amazonia itself sounds like every Nora Roberts book I've ever read. There's always a diamond-in-the-rough man, plenty of money for new shoes, and, of course, a proposal. Happy Ever After offers up a bonus in the form of a diamond-in-the-rough-man who earns his shine (in part) by buying his lady love a pair of designer shoes. If that's not the stuff of fairy tales, then I don't know what is.
I debated the wisdom of admitting that I read romance novels to all of cyberspace. But then I remembered that The Tote Trove has no shame. I'm going to go ahead and buy the other three books in the Bride Quartet series (yes, that's what it's really called). The series is about four friends who run a wedding planning business, a job that seems pretty stressful and unforgiving to me. But then, I'm the sort who breaks out in hives at the thought of drafting seating charts and taste-testing chicken and vegetable lasagna for my own wedding some day.
Friday, April 22, 2011
Introducing Fiction Friday
This Friday I'm telling stories. Well, one story. About a lady who likes birds. It's a silly little tale called (what else?) The Bird Lady, and I've decided to share it with you in increments each week. It's by no means finished or perfect or any of those other writerly things, but I thought blogging about it would be a nice departure from Photo Shoot Friday as well as a way to keep me writing. Happy reading.
She was out of honey sticks again. Lucy Aires glared at her parakeet, Wren, and snarled, "You're getting to be a damn pig." Wren ruffled her sky blue feathers, glared at Lucy, and then flitted over to a chain of colorful plastic rings and started poking at them with her beak. Well, at least Lucy thought she glared. "Aw, you know I didn't mean it," she muttered in tones of contrition, reaching into the cage to pat Wren's soft head tenderly. The cage was magnificent, a larger-than-necessary dome constructed of wires intricately arranged into the shapes of flowers and hearts. Lucy had bought it on eBay from a woman in Ohio for twenty dollars. Her cockatiel, Finchy, and her parrot, Swan, resided in separate but similarly lavish cages, also purchased on eBay. Each cage had come with its own tropical flower print cover, which the lady from Ohio had thrown in for free. Although Lucy lived in a cottage, she'd devoted an entire room to her birds. Her mother's antique armoire held their considerable supplies, which ranged from food and treats to a plethora of toys and grooming products. Lucy's mother, who hated animals and lived in Canada, would have been horrified to learn of the armoire's fate. The grooming products were Lucy's favorite part of the collection. She bathed each bird three times a week. She'd learned how to do it by watching some woman wearing a safari suit on Animal Planet.
Lucy patted her short, feathery auburn hair and made a mental note to make an appointment for a trim and highlights. Although never a beauty, she had what were considered interesting looks, exotic, even, in the right light. Her nose was pronounced and slightly beakish, her eyes green and hawkishly sharp. Despite being thin and small-boned, she preferred garishly-printed muumuus and metallic sandals, both of which were ideal for South Florida weather. She lived on a quiet street lined with cottages similar to her own, some of which (not hers) had lawns adorned with pink flamingos. She didn't know her neighbors very well and liked it that way, talking to them only to apologize when her birds squawked too loudly.
That's all for now. Check back next week for another (hopefully longer) installment :)
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Something New and Sparkly: Easter Sunday Corsage Necklace
I won't be selling this item in my Etsy shop. Sometimes it's nice to make pieces that I know I'll never have to say goodbye to. Also, the materials for this one were more expensive than usual (note the longer length and richer looking beads), so I'd need to charge more. I like to price my necklaces at $20 or less to keep my shop affordable.
So, what are you wearing for Easter?
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Jack Handey Quote of the Week
"Instead of raising your hand to ask a question in class, how about individual push buttons on each desk? That way, when you want to ask a question, you just push the button and it lights up a corresponding number on the tote board at the front of the class. Then all the professor has to do is check the lighted number against a master sheet of names and numbers to see who is asking the question."
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Something New and Sparkly: Bountiful Bows
Fabulous Felt Red Bow Necklace
Fabulous Felt Pink Bow Necklace
Fabulous Felt Yellow Bow Necklace
Fabulous Felt Green Bow Necklace
Fabulous Felt Blue Bow Necklace
After making my Fabulous Felt Pink Bow Necklace the other day, I was driven by a compulsion to create a whole rainbow of companions for it. I love the fun and kitschy feel of the bow in its many crayon box incarnations; it reminds me of something a cartoon character might wear, or of the crowning piece in a little girl's dress-up ensemble. Which means, of course, that it's just the thing to tie a no-holds-barred, super funky and girly, going out get-up together. :)
Monday, April 18, 2011
Toys of the 1980s
Sweet Lolita Hello Kitty in La La Land Candy Charm Necklace, Sweet Love 4 U
Rad 80s Style Jem Rockstar Holograms Colorful Necklace, Miss Mercy
Cheer Bear Huge Vintage Doll Statement Necklace, Miss Mercy
Rainbow Brite Star Sprinkles Huge Vintage Doll Statement Necklace, Miss Mercy
Strawberry Shortcake Huge Vintage Statement Necklace, Miss Mercy
My Little Pony Vintage Moondancer, My Emily
What girl doesn't love toys of the 1980s? (Never mind my bias, having been a kid in that decade. :) I always get excited when I see comeback versions of Strawberry Shortcake and My Little Pony merchandise in stores. (Has anyone else noticed Strawberry Shortcake's new glamorous long hair?) Rainbow Brite was my favorite (I had the Color Cottage, Starlite, Buddy Blue . . . ). So, when I went on a 1980s toy-themed treasure hunt on Etsy, I was charmed to find this dazzling selection. Whether you were the kid playing with them or the mom or grandmom buying them, what was your favorite 1980s toy?
Labels:
1980s,
Care Bears,
Hello Kitty,
Jem,
My Little Pony,
Rainbow Brite,
Strawberry Shortcake
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Something New and Sparkly: Get Gorgeous
Fabulous Felt Perfume Necklace
Fabulous Felt Pink Bow Necklace
A tease with the comb, a squirt of hairspray, the knotting of a pretty pink bow, and a cloud of perfume to walk (or dare I say glide?) through once the last lock has been charmed into place. What more could a girl want? A big, rhinestone-bedecked piece of felt dangling around her neck, of course. :)
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Christmas in April
"Hear the sledges with the bells -
Silver bells!
What a world of merriment their melody foretells!
How they tinkle, tinkle, tinkle,
In the icy air of night!
While the stars that oversprinkle
All the heavens seem to twinkle
With a crystalline delight;
Keeping time, time, time,
In a sort of Runic rhyme,
To the tintinnabulation that so musically wells
From the bells, bells, bells, bells,
Bells, bells, bells -
From the jingling and the tinkling of the bells."
Doesn't that just take you back to high school English class? Getting back to the totes, I wrapped them all up this morning (in Christmas paper, of course), doodled some candy canes and wreaths on the envelope, and sent them on their merry way. I couldn't have picked a better way to start my weekend.
Friday, April 15, 2011
Farewell Photo Shoot Friday
Aren't these salt and pepper shakers adorable? I just got them from Current, and they're now happily residing on my kitchen table. Now that that tomfoolery is behind us, we can move on to more serious business. Last week I hinted that I may be doing away with Photo Shoot Friday. Today I'm making it official. Although I had a great time wearing and posting my outfits, I've decided to move on to a new Friday column, which I'll unveil next week. Hopefully it becomes as popular as its predecessor, but I can't make any promises. For now let's just call it another part of this crazy Tote Trove experiment. So, thanks for tuning in each Friday; I truly appreciated all of your lovely comments. :) Be sure to check back next Friday to see what's next!
Thursday, April 14, 2011
My Big Ass Bag Collection
Unlike in my bow collage post, I've taken care to hide the yucky carpet with the tried-and-true tablecloth left over from my craft fair days. Just one more example of better living through polka dots.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Jack Handey Quote of the Week
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Root Beer World
If you think that A&W, Hires, Barq's, Mug, and Stewart's are the only root beer games in town, then think again. Root Beer World, which proudly proclaims itself to be "a world of root beer resources," lists thousands of unsung brands as well as message boards for root beer enthusiasts and root beer recipes (root beer torte or Robert E. Lee cake anyone?). As for this picture of a root beer-themed Snoopy tale, it's just one of the many sarsaparilla-spiked stories featured in the aptly named "root beer books" sidebar section that appears on the site's various pages.
So why am I writing about a soft drink? Because I like it. And because the link for Root Beer World has been burning a hole in my favorites list for the better part of a year since the bf discovered it (he has a knack for such things).
Monday, April 11, 2011
Bows: A Trend Worth Tying
SugarPop Clothing
Forever 21
Zedhead
Not too long ago I thought, hey, I've been seeing a lot of bow clothes and accessories around; I think I'd like to do a post on that. So, I went online and scouted all my favorite virtual shops. But oddly enough, the expected bevy of bow-inspired buys did not beckon (say that five times fast). On the contrary, I had to search really hard for the paltry few items displayed here. That's when it dawned on me that maybe bows aren't trendy now; maybe they were trendy a few years ago. (I'm seldom up on such things, as I wear the same stuff for years.) Still, I persevered, opting to brave the depths of my own closet. I emerged with the pieces you see arranged in the collage in the first picture (my apologies for the visible snatches of unattractive tan carpet).
This post didn't turn out to be as interesting as I'd anticipated. But it did help me discover that I'd like to add some yellow bow accessories to my collection. Which was no small discovery. No collection, after all, is complete without yellow.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Something New and Sparkly: Madcap Medallions Necklace
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Treasury Time
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Book Report: Crossroads by Belva Plain
Crossroads is entertaining. Jealousy, wealth, and romance can be depended upon to hook fiction readers, and Plain manages to weave all three in such a way that they don't come off as cheesy. The only thing that annoyed me about the book - and this is more of a criticism of Plain's novels in general than of this one in particular - is the way the "good" character (in this case Gwen) is nondescript and unassuming and completely uninterested in shopping, whereas the "bad" character (Jewel) is flashy and attention seeking and loves acquiring things. The comparison implies that caring about clothes and one's appearance is immoral and possibly even at the root of less-than-praiseworthy behavior. I think it's the lack of judgment about such classically "trivial" things that makes Sophie Kinsella's Shopaholic series so refreshing, and, dare I say, endearing. (I know, I know, I'm always dragging the Shopaholic books into my posts, but if the shoe fits . . .) Plain's books are filled with women like Jewel, and they always get their just desserts. I'm not saying I'd want to be friends with someone like her; she's sneaky and mean spirited. What I resent is the tidy way Plain bundles traditionally "good" and "bad" qualities in her heroines. Real women are more complicated than that. Hmm. Despite what I wrote earlier, I suppose Plain's characters can be cheesy even if the overall feel of her books isn't. Then again, maybe I'm taking this story just a bit too personally. These things happen when you read too much.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Jack Handey Quote of the Week
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Something New and Sparkly: Games and Goodies
I made the first necklace with a bunch of fruit- and dessert-themed erasers I've been sitting on since my birthday. I applied a coat of clear nail polish to each one for shine and protection from dirt. Then I stabbed each with what I can only imagine are earring findings (metal rods topped with loops), fed a jump ring through each loop, and hung each charm from a chain.
The second necklace is made from - believe it or not - a miniature Candyland game that doubles as a key chain. The "box" actually opens into a magnetic board, complete with tiny cards and two tiny gingerbread men playing pieces! (I apologize for not taking a picture of this and will be sure to do so the first time I wear it :) I found the key chain at Five Below (it was one of the pricey $5.00 items) among a collection of others featuring such other classic board games as Sorry!, Trouble, Clue, and Twister.
Speaking of Five Below, I found the key lime pie eraser charm that stars as the pendant for the last necklace there also (another $5.00 item). It was already packaged in the plastic case, complete with a hole at the top, which was ideal for adding a jump ring.
Labels:
Candy Land,
Clue,
Five Below,
Sorry!,
Trouble,
Twister
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