Clothes Crush: I'm Berry Excited it's Spring

Spring was made for Kawaii and Lolita and all of their strawberry sisters.  And although it's been spring for a few weeks now, it's finally starting to feel like this sweetest of seasons.  So, I've rounded up a trio of treacly pastel outfits in celebration.  One of the best things about whisper-soft shades?  They're a great backdrop for accessories that are -- yes -- a scream.

Now, this is the part where I talk about my clothes like I'm selling them.  Or like they're my friends. Which is weird in one way (because who sells her friends?) but not in another because 1) people sometimes email me to ask if the clothes are for sale (they're not), and 2) on a recent episode of "Bob's Burgers," Linda said, "The other day I took Gene to the mall to visit one of his favorite outfits."  I thought that was funny.  But also kind of sad.

That said, let's drown Gene's sorrows in Celestial Seasonings and get this tea party started.

Contestant (because somehow this has turned into a beauty pageant on top of all the other stuff going on)-slash-Confidante #1: Boardwalk Betty

Betty is confection perfection.  Her butterfly-sleeved blouse all but says boardwalk.  Also, saltwater taffy.  Which is more summer than spring, but then what's spring if not summer junior?  And her purse is -- oh my, a seashell!  The judges are, ahem, shore impressed.

Speaking of celebrations (as we were a few paragraphs ago), I went to a bridal shower on Saturday and ended up wrapping the gift in paper that kind of looks like this top.  Which is something I just felt like saying.  It has no bearing on the pageant proceedings and is in no way (wink, wink) a bribe.

Blossom Bow Barrette

Horn Between Two Roses Necklace

Top: Love Fire, Kohl's

Jeans: Mudd, Kohl's

Shoes: Chase & Chloe, Modcloth

Bag: Sugar Thrillz, Dolls Kill

Fuchsia bangle: Mixit, JCPenney

Mint bangle: Decree, JCPenney

Lilac bangle: Don't Ask, Zulily

Ring: Delia's

Surprise! It's a salad spinner.

Contestant/Confidante #2: Strawberry Sophie

Soph keeps the boardwalk theme fresh in a strawberry sweatshirt that's cozy for when the boards get chilly.  Also, this shirt's marshmallow shape and creamy shade is like a strawberry sundae.  Dairy Queen, you are my dream.  But not really because you sell soft serve, and I'm into custard.

Dairy Queen insisted that I say it's not a sponsor of this program.  I asked them, but they said "hard pass," then escorted me out, my wrists shackled with a daisy chain of day-old onion rings.

Busy Bee Choker 

Sweatshirt: LC Lauren Conrad, Kohl's

Jeans: LC Lauren Conrad, Kohl's

Shoes: Charles Albert, A.C. Moore

Bag: Macy's Backstage

Strawberry print, yellow, and grass green bangles: B Fabulous

Flower bangle: Mixit, JCPenney

Celadon bangle: Burlington Coat Factory

Mint bangle: Decree, JCPenney

Red bangle: XOXO, ROSS 

Thin red bangle: Candie's, Kohl's

Contestant/Confidante #3: Strawberry Susan

And last but not least, Susie charms in a sock hop-happy blush frock, reigning as the sole skirted contender.  But does this fresh-faced '50s flirt have what it takes to claim the crown?  When your spirit animal is a strawberry caramel, then there isn't a Brussels sprout in the world that can stop you.

 

Brianna Bug Necklace

Dress: Three Hearts, Kohl's

Shoes: Chase & Chloe, Zulily

Bag: Arizona Jeans, JCPenney

Belt: Izod, Marshalls

Scarf: Wet Seal

Alright, that brings us to the last leg of this dance-off.  And it was a doozy.  You smiled, you twirled, and one of you was almost sucked down into the cotton candy machine.  But we have a winner, and it is . . . Boardwalk Betty!  Bets, you've got candy stripes and lemon drop shoes and, most importantly, a unicorn.  So step right up to accept your bouquet, which comes in the form of this potted amaryllis.

I hope you lift weights because this thing is heavy.  It's been going gangbusters in the rain forest room since winter.  That's what we call our spare room here at Tote Trove central.  Not to be confused with the cactus room, where all of the plants are southwestern and fake.  No, RR is alive and honored to be part of the pageant prize circuit.  So treasure this amaryllis always, or at least until it retires to that big compost heap in the sky.  Because that's all we've got to give you.  DQ was supposed to donate the crown.

Better luck next time, berry babies.