Saguaro and Citrus

Sweater: Kohl's; Skirt: Wild Fable, Target; Shoes: Guess, DSW; Bag: Betsey Johnson; Belt: Marshalls

Saguaro Central Necklace

When I put this outfit together, the two things that jumped out at me were the cactus necklace and the orange slice purse.  As usual, they're of the cartoonish persuasion, the kind of thing you might see covering a tween's notebook or shooting out of a gumball machine.  But then I thought about it and wondered.  What if the kitschy cactus and orange were rebranded as a sophisticated saguaro and citrus?  Saguaro & Citrus sounds like a cross between Crabtree & Evelyn and a New Age Dave & Buster's.  I can see it now:  

Do you suffer from eczema, frequent sunburns, and/or unsightly acne? Then stop what you're doing right now and order Dream Team Cream miracle moisturizer!  Lab-created by snake oil saleswomen world-renowned aestheticians Astrid and Aquarius of the groundbreaking beauty company Sagauro & Citrus, Dream Team Cream isn't just a cream -- it's a lifestyle.  Astrid hails from Santa Fe (she's the saguaro), and Aquarius is from Daytona (she's the citrus).  The two met at a Phish concert when Astrid asked Aquarius if she had any aloe for her raging sunburn.  Aquarius did not, but the two became fast friends over kombucha and a vegan pizza.  Astrid had just closed her turquoise jewelry shop after one too many customers returned a ring that turned her finger green, and Aquarius was fresh off the competitive water polo circuit.  Both had a passion for skincare, so after a series of intense dreams that may or may not have been brought on by what turned out to be more than kombucha, they enrolled in Paris's prestigious Puts the Lotion on the Skin Academy.  After ten days of intense study and experiments, they created the astonishingly effective serum now known as Dream Team Cream.  This powerhouse product not only instantly cures sunburn and acne, but also keeps your T-zone as dry as a cactus and the rest of you as dewy as an orange for that famous Florida glow. 

What vision, what drive, what innovation!  Be part of history and join the millions of women who are turning back the hands of time and sun damage with Dream Team Cream today.  Don't delay; order now for the low, low price of $49.99 (plus $5.95 shipping and handling) by calling our toll-free number or visiting our web site.  Call within the next ten minutes and receive our exclusive Buck Up and Drink Up prize pack absolutely free!  Kick up -- and moisturize -- your heels at our flagship Saguaro & Citrus spa-slash-arcade, the very first of its kind in the country!  Each prize pack includes a ride on our state-of-the-art, tons-of-fun mechanical bulldozer (so much more ethical than a mechanical bull) and a large seaweed smoothie from our award-winning organic snack bar.* 

But wait -- there's more!  Call within the next five minutes, and we'll throw in a trial-size Dream Team Cream and tumbleweed loofah, perfect for maintaining your skin's glow on the go!  Our gift to you, absolutely free!  

So come on, what are you waiting for?!  Score the complexion of your dreams with Dream Team Cream from Saguaro & Citrus.  Your skin win's just a phone call or mouse click away!  

*Smoothie ticket must be redeemed at least one hour after mechanical bulldozer ride.  Saguaro & Citrus is not responsible for post-ride injuries or hallucinogenic reactions to seaweed.

What did I tell you?  Saguaro & Citrus, class all the way.

Also, you never know what'll go down at a Phish concert.