Sunday, September 12, 2021

King Me Carpentry . . .

Bag: Delia's

Shoes: Circus by Sam Edelman, Zulily

Skirt: POPSUGAR, Kohl's

Twilight Tortoise Necklace

Decree, JCPenney

Bag: Ella & Elly, Amazon

Skirt: Nine West, Kohl's

Shoes: Guess, DSW

Top: Marsahlls

Red bangle: JCPenney; Striped bangle: ZAD, Zuily; Purple bangle: Claire's; Rings: Mixit, JCPenney

Top: Wild Fable, Target

Bangles: All from B Fabulous except for the orange one, which is from Target

Skirt: LC Lauren Conrad, Kohl's

Shoes: Chinese Laundry, Zulily

Bag: Betsey Johnson, Macy's

. . . isn't the name of a certain someone's new business, but then again, maybe it should be.  Here I am channeling my inner hippie or Holly Hobbie (the patchwork skirt reminds me of her, and I should know; for the first years of my life, I lived in a Holly Hobbie-themed bedroom).  Partly because I cotton to costumes, partly to help hawk the husband's new cutting board.  That's right.  He made this woodsy checkerboard wonder with his own two hands by cutting, gluing, sanding, and staining.     

Isn't it stunning?  It sort of helps me appreciate that old Science Channel show How It's Made (not surprisingly, a fave of the husband's) where more products than you'd think, some artsy, some not, are at least partly handmade as opposed to being cranked out in a factory.

When the husband's not painting houses, he's usually outside under the tent that I used to use for craft fairs, sawing away.  He's become as addicted to his craft -- and the supply shopping that goes with it -- as I am to making jewelry and collecting carb-shaped handbags.  It's nice to be married to someone who understands about settling down to make something, then emerging trancelike hours later without feeling like any time -- not to mention a meal or two -- has gone by.  Also, I can relate when he criticizes his work and I'm forced to squint to inspect some infinitesimal imperfection and say, What are you talking about?!  

Anyway, he's made about forty boards, plus some coasters, many of which he's gifted.  At some point, I'll be pressed into service to help him open his own shop on Etsy.  

Which, I suppose, is the least I could do after making him take my glamour shots.

Thursday, September 9, 2021

As Queasy as 1, 2, 3: You Can't Count on Numbers

For those of us who despise math -- and most of us writers do -- it's hard to accept that some aspects of life are all about the numbers.  Especially when there are so many of them about such crucial things to keep track of:

How much money is in my bank account?

How many days until the milk expires?

What's my cholesterol?  Blood sugar?  Blood pressure?

How many days until my next period?

How many more crunches before I can plop back on the couch?

How many miles are on my car?

How many hours of sleep until I'm really rested?

And, of course, the killjoy of killjoys that lurks everywhere:

How many COVID cases in my county?

Everyone has a body and a bank account, so there's no escaping these nefarious numerals.  Yet if age is just a number, then why can't all these things be just numbers too?  You know, up to interpretation, like song lyrics or a journal entry.  Some people find comfort in knowing that 2 + 2 always = 4.  But to me, numbers are unforgiving.  They don't care if you had a bad day that drove you to buy an ice cream maker ($100), crank out a batch of butter brickle (cholesterol, blood sugar, and BP through the roof), and stay up all night watching The Great British Baking Show (3 hours sleep).  Letters, on the other hand, are so much more sympathetic.  They make up words designed to describe how that day made you feel, turning it into art instead of a series of 0s and 1s that don't add up on a computer. 

Then again, maybe numbers neurosis isn't a writer thing but a me thing.

No wonder I'd rather read than count sheep.

Monday, September 6, 2021

Savor the Labor: Red, White, and Blueberry

Skirt: H&M


Shoes: Impo, DSW

Top: So, Kohl's

Floral bangle: JCPenney; Strawberry bangle: B Fabulous; Red bangle: XOXO, ROSS; Ring and rainbow necklace: Cloud Nine, Ocean City

Shoes: Mix No. 6, DSW


Dress: Lily Rose, Kohl's

Bag: Betsey Johnson, Zulily

Dress: B. Smart, Kohl's

Bangles from left to right: Silver Linings, Ocean City; So, Kohl's; XOXO, ROSS

Bag: Nahui Ollin

Flip flops: Betsey Johnson, Macy's

Skirt: Candie's, Kohl's

Shoes: Ami Clubwear

Sunglasses: Party City; Yellow necklace: Sonoma, Kohl's; Headband: Marshalls; Bracelets: Madden Girl, Kohl's

Top: ELLE, Kohl's

Bag: Loop, Marshalls

Red Romance Fan Necklace

Not manual labor or delivery labor, but Labor Day labor -- or rather, play.  Because raspberries are red, blueberries are blue, and summer is sweet but over too soon.  My own holiday labors -- if you can call them that -- included making Americana-themed baubles and wearing my red, white, and blue best for the butterflies.  

As for festivities, the husband and I went to my parents' house yesterday and to Rita's tonight, where we enjoyed our treats outside by the light of the highway.  And that made for a big weekend for me because I'm almost always home.  Which reminds me of something my mom said last summer: the pandemic brings us back to a simpler time.  As in, there's nowhere to go, just like back in the day, so even a trip to the ice cream stand becomes special.  And however horrific the reason (i.e. a deadly, global virus of summer blockbuster proportions), slowing down and appreciating the extraordinary ordinary is a gift. 

So I hope your Labor Day weekend was lazy.  In other words, filled with fashion, fruit pies, and featherdown pillows for taking the very best naps.  

Sunday, September 5, 2021

Head Honcho Horticulture: Who's the Real Botanical Boss?

 


Once upon a time, I said moss was boss.  But that's not true.  Because Bob Ross is boss, despite (or perhaps because of) his ever-serene demeanor.  The other day, I was filling a flamingo planter with fake flowers when I had a sprig leftover and thought, why not give it to Bob?  


He deserves a 'fro grow, especially because I never allowed him to reach his Chia Pet potential.  

So bloom where you're planted, Bob.  This bud's for you.

Friday, September 3, 2021

Stripe Life: Coloring Outside the Lines

Shoes: Mix No. 6, DSW


Top: Modcloth

Light blue flower clip: Claire's; Dark blue flower clips: Made by my sister

Top: Self Esteem, JCPenney


Skirt: Lily White, Kohl's

Shoes: So, Kohl's

Skirt: ELLE, Kohl's


Top: Monteau, TJ Maxx

Just when you think I couldn't say anything else about stripes, I pipe up with more pattern prattle.  The vertical ones make me think of the '70s, nautical wear, and, of course, circus tents.  And because vertical stripes are really just lines, they also bring to mind staying in line, coloring inside the lines, and that ever-popular military classic, toeing the line.  Last but certainly not least, vertical stripes evoke verticals, as in magazine columns.  (I learned that term from The Bold Type.  Even if I did just fall down a Reddit rabbit hole criticizing the drama's inaccurate portrayal of young journalists.  And here I thought its biggest problem was that stylist Sutton wore too many neutrals.)  Most of these, ahem, line items, are about following the rules.  But The Bold Type (in case you don't watch or can't tell from the title) is the exact opposite.  Its intrepid, truth-seeking trio never met a line that it didn't cross.  

Speaking of trios, I made three necklaces to go with these striped separates.  And then I made these earrings.  But I'm not modeling them because, as you know, I don't have pierced ears.  Also, ew.  Who wants to buy something that's been jammed through my cartilage? 

Bitty Berry Earrings

So here's to stripes and not toeing the line.  And to bold patterns, bold women, and bold everything everywhere.  

Except for the The Bold and the Beautiful.  That's a show that should disappear down a Reddit and real-life rabbit hole.