Tan by Your Plan, Beige Against the Machine

Skirt: Bubblegum, Macy's

Flair Change Necklace

Bag: Betsey Johnson, Boscov's

Sweatshirt: Pretty Rebel, Macy's

Boots: Jessica Simpson, DSW

Skirt: Lily White, Kohl's

Bag and shoes: LC Lauren Conrad, Kohl's

Bow: SHEIN

Top: So, Kohl's

Blue Bow Necklace

Boots: Penny Loves Kenny, Amazon

Emboldened Arches Necklace

Sweater: Jessica Simpson, Amazon

Sometimes I buy clothes that are brown.  Or tan.  Or neutral.  I know, I know.  I'm cuckoo for color, not Cocoa Puffs, so what gives with the granola garb?   Maybe I want all the clothes.  Or maybe I just like a challenge.  The challenge being, how can I make this potato-sack-colored fabric more me (or at the very least, stop exhausting food metaphors)?  In one case, the answer was to craft a necklace from a shoe clip (I'm talking to you, Flair Change).  

Yes, the gilded, frilly doodad of a decorative accent at the center was supposed to snap onto a puzzle piece of a shoe designed for that purpose.  (If you're wondering how I came by such an item, it was a gift.)  Of course, I don't own the corresponding Cinderella slipper and have no way of getting it.  So I thought, why not string the clip, plus some fake coins, into some low-key-but-still-kooky neckwear?      

So I did.

Think of it as the grand marshal of this pale palette parade, Tammy Wynette and Rage Against the Machine fighting from the flashiest float.  

Sister Sleuths: Cooking up Carbs and Chaos

With the book club and my own never-ending TBR list, books are taking over my life.  After finishing my sister's pick, Elle Cosimano's Finlay Donovan Knocks 'Em Dead, my mom couldn't wait to find out what happened next and went for the next installment, Finlay Donovan Jumps the Gun.  I can't blame her, as these books are page turners that bleed into one another.  I think it's the only whodunit series I've read where the same mystery keeps building throughout (because the Russian mob never rests).  Anyway, this time, Finlay and Vero are still trying to find the online hacker who wants to hack Finlay's ex to pieces.  And apparently, the best way to do that is to join the Police Academy.  No Steve Guttenberg cameos here, though; this is the citizens' version of the training.  To that point, even neighborhood busybody Mrs. Haggerty is along for the ride-along, giving Finlay and Vero a run for their blood money in her Juicy Couture sweats.  Of course, hot cop Nick is in charge of the program and is still trying to entice Finlay to sample what her mother referred to as his "nice biscuits."  It's all pretty hilarious, and less gory than its two predecessors.  Best of all, for once I thought I had the perp figured out (I was wrong, but it was nice while it lasted).  What's more, the cliffhanger's a real doozy.  But we'll have to wait until Cosimano writes the next book to find out how Finlay and Vero hang in there.

After vicariously chasing bad guys -- and being chased by them -- I was ready for a different kind of biscuit, or rather, roll.  Yes, it was time for cozy queen Joanne Fluke's Caramel Pecan Roll Murder.  In a nutshell, it's about a blowhard who gets bumped off during a fishing competition.  I read it in a day, probably because it's half recipes, and found its downhome charm kind of soothing.  This isn't always the case; sometimes the local yokel simplicity of this series grates on me.  That said, unlike Finlay, the heroine, Hannah, doesn't have to investigate murders; she just likes to (which presents its own kind of neurosis, but I won't get into that).  She's a mild-mannered Minnesotan, baking cookies and juggling a hot cop of her own -- plus a dorky dentist -- while stepping in to solve the occasional murder.  Not that things ever heat up for Hannah in the romance department.  In Caramel Pecan Roll Murder, the hot gos is that Hannah's bunking with the dentist while her condo is being deep cleaned.  But it's all much ado about nothing, as Hannah never hooks up with anyone.  Still, what I find most horrifying about these books isn't Hannah's love life or even the crimes -- it's the sheer quantity of baked goods that Hannah is expected to produce every day, often beginning before sunrise.  People are always like, hey, Hannah, can you bake three dozen Coconut Mocha Madness cookies for today's Rotary Club meeting? or whatever.  And that's not even counting all the friends and family that drop by her shop to gobble up the candied fruits of her labor. 

It's almost enough to make you want to go undercover . . . which brings us full circle back to Finlay.

But then, I guess that's what books and life are about: finding that elusive balance.         

One Bright Sprite and the Three Stars of Rainbow: Night Skies, Equines, and Alt Rock

Sweatshirt: Forever 21;  Coat: Jou Jou, Macy's

Skirt: Tinseltown, Macy's; Bag: Betsey Johnson, Macy's

Paint Party Necklace; Black and white necklace: Mixit, JCPenney

Sweater: Gap; Coat: IZ Buyer, Kohl's; Bag: Betsey Johnson, Amazon; Boots: Betsey Johnson, Macy's

Pink Piano Barrettes

Yellow bangles: B Fabulous; Strawberry bangle: Delia's

Coat: Wild Fable, Target; Bag: Worthington, JCPenney; Shoes: Mix No. 6, DSW

Mystery Necklace: Ready, set, solve!

Jeans: Simply Vera, Kohl's; Tee: Modern Lux, Target

One bright sprite -- that's me.  Because if I can't be Rainbow -- Brite, that is -- then I might as well be her sidekick.  Or, you know, a citrus soft drink.  

Sadly, none of my actual sprites from the '80s survived (I wasn't always the dedicated hoarder that I am today), so all I have is this Hallmark Itty Bitty from the 2010s:  

Maybe I should ask the heavens -- and also, ironically, RB's steed Starlite -- to send some my way: 

"Star light, star bright/First star I see tonight/I wish I may, I wish I might/Have this wish I wish tonight."  

If that doesn't work, then I'll crank up the Muse.

Caving in to Cute

What Mattel muse for hire sparks creative fire?  Endure the wait no more -- it's Emberly!  A punkier version of The Flintstones' Pebbles, Emberly comes from the Cave Club (and okay, Amazon).  But now she dwells in the cave of my craft room.  With her flame-colored hair, she fits right in.  As does her coordinating sidekick Flaire, who sidled right up to my succulent-sprouting dinos.  Emberly's as stylish as she is savage, rocking her '80s ensemble (complete with purple club!) in a way that's just plain, well, fierce.  

Then again, I'd expect nothing less from the brain trust that gave us Barbie. 

Big Hearts and Body Parts

I had so much fun doing a book compare and contrast that I decided to do it again!  What's under the microscope and magnifying glass this time?  Ali Hazelwood's The Love Hypothesis and Elle Cosimano's Finlay Donovan Knocks 'Em Dead.  I read The Love Hypothesis on my own, and Finlay Donovan Knocks 'Em Dead was my sister's book club selection (as you may recall, my sister got us started on this series with Finlay Donovan is Killing It.) 

The Love Hypothesis is a romcom about Olive Smith, a dedicated but mistrustful-of-love Stanford scientist who embarks upon a fake relationship to help her best friend find true love (and yes, that premise is as farcical as it sounds and not something I'm getting into).  Olive's playacting paramour?  Biology department alpha Adam Carlsen, a gorgeous and brilliant specimen of a man who's awful to everyone except Olive.  With her, he's funny and charming, protective and tender, and so respectful it's an aphrodisiac.  Not that Olive falls for him right away.  Oh no, she fights Cupid with every fiber of her being, so intent on denying herself happiness that sometimes I wanted to shake her.  Still, I understand that she has her issues (her mom died of cancer when she was a teenager), and that surrendering to love can be scary.  But when her smarmy Harvard mentor crosses the line, she hits rock bottom and learns that the only way out is to open up and ask for help.

Then there's Finlay Donovan Knocks 'Em Dead, which isn't at all romantic unless you count Finaly's love triangle with a callow law student and a seasoned detective.  Which I don't, because the number one relationship in Finaly's life (after the one with her kids, of course) is her friendship with partner Vero.  Not only is Vero an ace accountant and nanny; she's also Finlay's ride-or-die when it comes to tracking down the killer contracted to end Finaly's ex.  That's right.  The sod farm king is now the quarry, with the Russian mob lurking in the background making sure the bodies stay buried.  And it all started in a chat room masquerading as a safe space for wives to swap cleaning tips and trash their husbands.  The whole domestic-life-as-a-front-for-illegal-activity thing reeks of Good Girls -- in a very good way.  And I do mean "reek," given that fish, visitors, and bodies start to smell after three days.

So, yeah, these two books are different.  Even if both have blue covers and represent the seemingly safe fiction genres of romance and mystery or, as I like to call them, sex and violence.  I enjoyed both.  The Love Hypothesis is a classic slow burn love story, and its characters have great chemistry (even if they are biologists).  I heart a hero who can honor the heroine's independence while also being chivalrous.  And Finlay Donovan Knocks 'Em Dead is just so clever and funny.  If it weren't funny, then I wouldn't be able to read it, because it's also pretty gory.  But as with everything else, the jokes set the right tone for me, reducing even the darkest scene to a merely macabre comic strip.       

Still, I preferred The Love Hypothesis.  

Knights in shining armor over armed robberies.  

My Funky Valentine

Skirt: Tinseltown, Macy's

Two Hearts Barrette Brooch

Sweater: Bar III, Macy's

Tights: JCPenney

Blazer: LC Lauren Conrad, Kohl's

Shoes: Guess, DSW

Bow: Belt from LC Lauren Conrad dress, Kohl's

Sweet Sequins Necklace

Bag: Sugar Thrillz, Dolls Kill

Jeans: Indigo Rein, Marshalls

Sunglasses: Wild Fable, Target

Tee: Elle, Kohl's

Superstar Necklace

Shoes: Katy Perry Collection, Zulily

Dress: Macy's; Coat: So, Kohl's

Bag: Simply Vera, Kohl's

Fascinator: Gifted, Barrettes: Handmade by my sister

Shoes: Mix No. 6, DSW

Red and Pink Rampage Necklace

Skirt: Mudd, Kohl's

Sweater: So, Kohl's

Rainbow bag: Zulily; Phone bag: Sugar Thrillz, Dolls Kill; Yellow bag: Betsey Johnson, Amazon

Shoes: Madden Girl, Kohl's

Wild Hearts Barrette Brooch

That's me, my own "funky valentine."  Partly because I used "punny valentine" five years ago, partly because it's a fitting moniker for someone wearing everything from cutout sweaters to what the husband described as a "Valentine's funeral hat."  Still, maybe there's a connection in there somewhere.  "Cutout" makes me think of "Cut it out," which makes me think of Dave Coulier on Full House, which makes me think of Alanis Morissette's "You Oughta Know."  And Alanis seems like the kind of woman who'd appreciate a Valentine's Day Massacre style topper. 

Not that I have any reason to be snarky about St. Valentine.  This lovely bouquet was waiting for me at my computer this morning:  

Oh, that husband.  As I type this, he's making us a seafood dinner!  Here we are at my parents' last weekend:

You'll notice that I swapped my hat for just the flower barrettes.  As fun as it was, it just wasn't conducive to scarfing down my mom's baked ziti, and I certainly wasn't going to let anything, fashion statement or not, get in the way of that.

So, whether you're in an Alanis or sweetheart state of mind this V-Day, I hope you had fun.  And that you ate lots of candy.