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So you joined a book club. And it's your turn to pick. Your ideal title? One that's not too serious but not too light, right in the sweet spot of what you'd enjoy and what you think others would enjoy too. You search and search, but it isn't easy. You've read this one, the others wouldn't like that one, and this one is about aliens. Wait, what's this? A New York Times bestseller and, oh look, the 2021 book club pick of the summer! Plus, it's by an author you already know and love. You click Add to Cart, feeling virtuous and even a little smug about what a good choice you've made. But then again, you know books. You've been a reader all your life. You brought books to the playground, you majored in English. You've got this.
And then one of the other book club members starts reading the book and tells you that there's something in it that'll upset another member. And you're suddenly feeling all of the things, none of them good. Your confidence in your ability to recognize quality literature has been shaken. What's more, now you know how the others felt when you were so put off by The Guest List that you couldn't even finish it.
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Obviously, the "you" in this story is me, and the person who couldn't read my book was my mom or sister. I'm not going to tell you which, nor will I reveal the title of my bad apple pick. Partly because I don't want to open that door, but mostly because I protect the privacy of my nearest and dearest better than my own. When I told the husband what happened, he said that 1) (without any prompting) I know good books (I knew I married him for a reason!), and 2) unless all we read is comics, this is going to keep happening. He is, of course, right. As was I when I said that reading is a very personal thing in last year's hard-hitting My Book Club, My Boyfriend.
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Nevertheless, this experience has forced me to grow. There was a time when I'd cringe even after picking a movie that the other person didn't like. So if nothing else, then being in a book club has ripped the Band-Aid right off that nonsense. It also reminds me that other people have nonnegotiables and triggers too, and that we all need to be sensitive to each other's needs. Still, I don't think I could be in a book club with anyone who isn't family. Because although my mom and sister and I may sometimes disagree, there's no malice under it. They're a safe space because they're my people. And if I'm going to discuss books -- and all the baggage and emotions that come with that -- then I want to do it with people I love.
That said, I'll still read my slush pile selection.
I'll just keep it between me, myself, and I -- a.k.a. my book club of one.
7 comments:
That was quite a story - everyone has their own personal taste when it comes to books. I was in a book club that some of the people picked 700 page historical books. I was working and just didn't have time to read such a long (boring) book. Eventually, I dropped out of that book club.. I do miss being in a book club, but need to find readers that like to read what I like which is biographies, historical fictions, and memoirs. It's always good to have a supportive husband to run things by!
Ahhhh, it's too bad that happened, but like your husband said, it's pretty much inevitable! You're so right that we all have our triggers and nonnegotiables, and it's good to be sensitive to them. At least you're in the comfort zone of your family in your book club - that makes it easier, I'd imagine!! It really does boil down to how reading is a personal thing. Enjoy your "slush pile selection" - and side note: the photo snaps of your book collection are amazing!!! 📚💖
Oh, it is kind of funny..book clubs are never quite what you'd expected. I think of the times I did go..then to find out.."Am I the only one who read the book?" And as we age and evolve, sometimes we start to hate everything. Which I know, is no way to be in a book club. Although, there will be those that will be glad you came. Shared your perspective of the book. And book clubs are always a learning experience. Did you like the flow of the book? What was up with all those cats showing up? Of course, the most important thing..will there be treats? It's great you do have a book club with family.
Such a fun topic. Although, we might never debate a book. Yet, I have been very adamant about the crawdads singing. And it's always great when I do find a few who feel the same way. But those are definitely too few. It might be a book filled with beautiful prose and a sappy storyline..but is it really the great American novel? Of course, I was shot down when I mentioned how much I loved A PRAYER FOR THE DYING. Oh, those serious perturbed looks. Deep down, I feel 'the book club' needs to spark something. I have been told I'm too enthusiastic at the book club.
Oh, I like the idea of my boyfriend my book club. Although, we once discussed novels we had to read, but our taste have both evolved. He's more of a nonfiction kind of guy now. It's always great to hear your book club with your mom has such success. I don't know that I ever had that with my mom. Yet, I would find her naughty books when I was a kid in her undie drawer so I secretly knew what she liked to read. Such a great Saturday writeup!
Oh, you do have a beautiful selection of books. It is hard sometimes, finding that happy medium. Sometimes, you might realize..well, it might not be in this go around for a book choice.
Although, I will have to admit, I think I would rather be in a book club with strangers. Somehow it sets the playing field...and I think taking everyone else's perspective is intriguing and well, I am from a rather judgemental family and as I recall, "Well, I have no idea where she's coming from. She wasn't raised that way." You would think we were at a prayer meeting. Oh, what's even more entertaining is being in a Writer's Group. And the people you meet...and the stories you have to read. Sometimes, it's hard to imagine..did they write this? Were they on something? And then to have someone who did not like anything you have written..asking when it's over..well, you got anything else you want to send me to read?
Ah...no wonder you write so well, you majored in English!
As for book clubs, I think the one at our local library is still going, but there's no way I could join one unless I wasn't writing. I find reading too much fiction while trying to write is a major distraction.
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