Fashion Victim, but Make it Funny

What has JELL-O wrestling, purloined movie props, and "The Cat Who Saved a Toddler's Life"?  Why, Laura Levine's Murder Gets a Makeover, of course!  In this zaniest of Jaine Austen mysteries, Jaine reluctantly agrees to a makeover with a snarky LA stylist as a favor to her insufferable neighbor Lance.  Fashion maven Bebe Braddock is so condescending that she makes Anna Wintour look like Mrs. Claus.  So it's no surprise when she ends up strangled by a wire hanger (somewhere out there, Joan Crawford is cackling).  Unfortunately, Jaine is the prime suspect and goes into PI mode to clear her name.  But this time she isn't trying to catch just a killer.  She's also in hot pursuit of her beloved Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs tee shirt, which Bebe discarded during the ill-fated makeover. 

To crank up the crazy, Jaine's cat Prozac saves a boy from getting hit by a car, garnering her attention from the press and inflating her already huge feline ego.  Also, Bebe's fetus of an assistant is smitten with Jaine.  Unlike Bebe, he thinks her elastic waist pants are sexy and is only too happy to squire her around LA.  As if all of this isn't wacky enough, Levine sprinkles in emails from Jaine's parents, retirees who wreak havoc on their Florida retirement village (well, her dad wreaks havoc while her mother cringes).  The elder Austens are as delightful as they are eccentric, making it clear that the coconut doesn't fall far from the tree. 

Colorful characters, witty one-liners, and a self-deprecating heroine who is somehow as real as she is outrageous make Murder Gets a Makeover one wonderfully raucous ride.

No doubt about it, this caper is catnip to me.  

Beyond Brisket: Hair Flair from the Heartland

It's no secret that I love a celebrity fashion brand.  Lauren Conrad, Jessica Simpson, and Katy Perry claim a considerable portion of my wardrobe, and once upon a time, I even had a pair of Paris Hilton shoes.  (Harry Styles, if you want to bust out a line of sequin jumpsuits, then I'm here for it.)  And now I can add Ree Drummond to that illustrious list!  That's right, the Pioneer Woman is cooking up more than casseroles, expanding her Walmart offerings from kitchen accoutrements to apparel.  So I was delighted when my mom gifted me with these lovely Pioneer Woman scrunchies and headband, both of which I adore.  Each one is, as Ree says herself, "as useful as it is gorgeous!" 

Way to pretty up pioneering, Ree.  Willa Cather would approve.

Valentine's Day the Eclectic Way

Skirt: So, Kohl's

Sweet Stripes Necklace

Bag: Amazon; Polka dot bangle: B Fabulous; Love bangle: Boscov's; Blue bangle: So, Kohl's; Black and white bracelet: Mixit, JCPenney; Ring: Delia's

Top: Self Esteem, Macy's

Shoes: Betsey Johnson, DSW; Socks: Xhilaration, Target

Heart of Hearts Barrette Brooch

Dress: Ultra Flirt, Macy's

Beret: Dolls Kill

Shoes: LC Lauren Conrad, Kohl's; Socks: Zulily

Bag: Sugar Thrillz, Dolls Kill, Bangles: Mixit, JCPenney; Ring: Express

Top: Crave Fame, Macy's; Skirt: Tinseltown, Macy's

Cherry Topped Dots Necklace

Bag: Betsey Johnson, Modcloth; Rhinestone bangle: XOXO, Ross; Other bangle: B Fabulous Ring: Making Waves, Ocean City

Shoes: Nine West, Kohl's

Top: Zulily; Skirt: Vylette, Kohl's

Shoes: Betsey Johnson, Macy's

Lollipop Love Necklace

Bag: Dolls Kill; Bangles: B Fabulous: Rhinestone bracelet: Cloud Nine, Ocean City; Lips ring: Gifted; Rhinestone rings: Express

Top and skort: So, Kohl's

Bing-A-Bling Necklace

Bag: LC Lauren Conrad, Kohl's; Bangles: B Fabulous

It's almost Valentine's Day!  Which means hearts and flowers, in my hair and everywhere.  And also My Little Ponies.  Because I've been sitting on that beret for a year, and it was time to bust it out already.  At least that's what my pal Pinwheel said.  Pinwheel, by the way, is the pony.   

Considering my unbridled passion for fashion, I couldn't have picked a better mascot.

The Fame Game: Rock Star Edition

Imagine that your husband is a talented yet struggling musician.  You hold down two jobs to support him and go to all of his gigs.  Both of you hope, pray, and plan for the day when he finally makes it big.  And then, after years of sweat and heartache, he does.  

And all hell breaks loose.  

That's the story of Brooke and Julian Alter in Lauren Weisberger's Last Night at Chateau Marmont.  No sooner has Julian finished his showcase performance than he's whisked away to LA.  There are interviews, parties, and photoshoots, and at first, Brooke wants to be part of them all.  But as Julian's life begins to resemble Nickleback's "Rock Star," complete with regular appearances in the gossip rag Last Night at Chateau Marmont, Brooke remains rooted in NYC.  Living on separate coasts is painful -- and seems to seal their fate as a couple.

Or does it?  Because as bigheaded as Julian can sometimes be (there were times when I wanted to strangle him!), deep down he's still the sensitive songwriter that Brooke fell in love with.  He still pukes before playing for a huge crowd and calls her by his pet nickname, Rook.  This isn't just a story about marriage -- it's a story about marriage and skyrocketing into the celebrity stratosphere.  After all, Weisberger wrote The Devil Wears Prada; her wheelhouse is exposing the ugly insides of glamorous industries.  And why not?  It's fascinating to witness what stardom can do -- and if it's possible to remain true to yourself while trending.  

Rife with early aughts references, Last Night at Chateau Marmont (which was published in 2010) takes on the eponymous Hollywood hotel, along with its legendary notoriety, and turns it on its head.  Because back in the day, rock stars' wives were seen and not heard, but modern love may be more balanced.

Sounds like a hit song to me.

Only Book Club With People You Love

So you joined a book club.  And it's your turn to pick.  Your ideal title?  One that's not too serious but not too light, right in the sweet spot of what you'd enjoy and what you think others would enjoy too.  You search and search, but it isn't easy.  You've read this one, the others wouldn't like that one, and this one is about aliens.  Wait, what's this?  A New York Times bestseller and, oh look, the 2021 book club pick of the summer!  Plus, it's by an author you already know and love.  You click Add to Cart, feeling virtuous and even a little smug about what a good choice you've made.  But then again, you know books.  You've been a reader all your life.  You brought books to the playground, you majored in English.  You've got this.

And then one of the other book club members starts reading the book and tells you that there's something in it that'll upset another member.  And you're suddenly feeling all of the things, none of them good.  Your confidence in your ability to recognize quality literature has been shaken.  What's more, now you know how the others felt when you were so put off by The Guest List that you couldn't even finish it.  

Obviously, the "you" in this story is me, and the person who couldn't read my book was my mom or sister.  I'm not going to tell you which, nor will I reveal the title of my bad apple pick.  Partly because I don't want to open that door, but mostly because I protect the privacy of my nearest and dearest better than my own.  When I told the husband what happened, he said that 1) (without any prompting) I know good books (I knew I married him for a reason!), and 2) unless all we read is comics, this is going to keep happening.  He is, of course, right.  As was I when I said that reading is a very personal thing in last year's hard-hitting My Book Club, My Boyfriend.  

Nevertheless, this experience has forced me to grow.  There was a time when I'd cringe even after picking a movie that the other person didn't like.  So if nothing else, then being in a book club has ripped the Band-Aid right off that nonsense.  It also reminds me that other people have nonnegotiables and triggers too, and that we all need to be sensitive to each other's needs.  Still, I don't think I could be in a book club with anyone who isn't family.  Because although my mom and sister and I may sometimes disagree, there's no malice under it.  They're a safe space because they're my people.  And if I'm going to discuss books -- and all the baggage and emotions that come with that -- then I want to do it with people I love.        

That said, I'll still read my slush pile selection.  

I'll just keep it between me, myself, and I -- a.k.a. my book club of one.    

Hotel Pastel

Top: LC Lauren Conrad, Kohl's

Bag: Betsey Johnson, Amazon; Blue bangle: Burlington Coat Factory; Blue bracelet: Cloud Nine, Ocean City; Mint ring: Michaels; Purple ring: Claire's

Skirt: Wild Fable, Target; Tights: Hue, Amazon; Boots: LC Lauren Conrad, Kohl's

Top: Nine West, Kohl's

Heart Hodgepodge Necklace

Headband: Colors, JCPenney

Green Goddess Necklace

Bag: Candie's, Kohl's; Mint bangle: Decree, JCPenney; Orange bracelet: Sonoma, Kohl's; Ring: Express

Top: Love Fire, Belk's; Skirt: XOXO, Macy's

Coral Floral Necklace

Bag: Betsey Johnson, Macy's; Metallic bracelet: H&M; Blue bangle: So, Kohl's; Turquoise bangle: Mixit, JCPenney; Orange ring: Nordstrom

Skirt: Wild Fable, Target

Top: Crave Fame, Macy's

Aquamarine Queen Necklace

Bag: Nine West, Ross; Belt: Mixit, JCPenney

Top: LC Lauren Conard, Kohl's; Skirt: ELLE, Kohl's

Purple Peacock Necklace

Bag: Olivia Miller, Amazon; Purple and silver bracelet, purple heart bracelet: Cloud Nine, Ocean City; Purple and teal bracelet: Apt. 9, Kohl's; Rhinestone rings: Express

You know how hotels are known for having bad paintings?  And how '90s décor was big on abstract designs and pastels?  Well, when I bought this top last winter, it reminded me of a so-bad-it's-good painting that would've hung in a Marriott circa 1995.

It also reminded me of a bedspread I bought in the early 2000s, long after this tacky trend had expired.  What can I say?  I like what I like, and sometimes what I like looks like it should stay trapped on VHS. 

In other news, earlier this week we got a dusting of snow, as evidenced in some of these pictures.  Although it was pretty, I was grateful to be working from the command center known as my couch.  Back in the day, if I was out when flakes started to fall, I'd be a wreck, white-knuckling it all the way home.  And now, just like that, it's no longer a worry.  Thanks, pandemic!   

And thanks, also, hotel paintings.  Especially the one that Jeff Goldblum's self-loathing artist flung into the ocean in Nine Months.      

I hope you made some mermaid happy.